Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Yachtiness

WTF New Balance

New Balance MT580 Gore-Texnewb1Dear New Balance, what the fuck are these? I know they resemble the 580’s, but they seem to have been butchered by a gay clown on an acid trip. I know that you guys are trying to get away from the traditionl grey suede, fratstar look, but did you really have to go and get Perez Hilton to design your newest colorway? I will always remember what a very successful friend of mine once told me, “Always dance with the one that brought you.” These are not the ones that brought you, New Balance. These are fugly and boujee as shit.

 Another question, why the fuck are they Gore-tex? It must be for when Boy George is at the local boys club and Clay Aiken accidently spills his Pomegranate martini on them. That’s the only logical reason I can come up with to make a classic like the 580, and turn it into a rape victim that happens to be waterproof. All the club banging gay clowns are going to be repping these so hard!

Here’s an example of how New Balance got a new colorway of an old model right. Tweaking your bread and butter with a little bit of flavor to reinvent a classic. These are right in your strike zone NewB, and yachty as fuck.

New Balance x Staple Design 575 Pigeon

New Balance 575 Pigeon

3 responses

  1. Daddyfatsak

    Agreed, these shoes should be illegal. It looks like they took them outside, drapped a piece of paper over them and sprayed them with a Wagner spray gun. Be real New Balance or find new customers!

    June 9, 2009 at 4:07 pm

  2. nbemployee

    Frankly, I couldn’t agree more. 🙂

    The good news is that they are in VERY limited quantities for a VERY niche market…. mostly Japan. Are you surprised?

    Yeah, Goretex. I love them on my 1110s, but not these. Not these.

    June 9, 2009 at 6:58 pm

  3. Pingback: Concepts x NB “The Kennedy” «

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