Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Yachtiness

Archive for June, 2009

“You’ve seen Lord of the Rings, We Live It”

Dagorhir.com

Dagorhir.com

I think I found my new group of people to prank call and harass. Check out my homies at Dagorhir.com.  

Have you seen Role Models? If so, you would probably remember McLovin from Super Bad being a creepy tool that rocked a cape, a foam sword, armor, and lived in a fantasy world with other rejects. These fucking losers have battles where there are actual rules, regulations, and fantasy hierarchies.  Well my friends, these creepsters actually exist and they have chapters across the nation. What the fuck.

I know some people out there love them some Lord of the Rings, but I wasn’t aware that people that drive KIA’s and smoke Doral’s actually live double lives as Frodo Baggins. I mean do they keep it a secret from their coworkers at Burger King? Do they recruit? I mean these fuckers have girlfriends in their fantasy worlds. AKA They have sex as Samwise Gamjee, getting off to the thought of boning some elf. Yeah, I just went there, but it needs to be brought to peoples attention. These dwarf fuckers houses should be put on a map, just like sexual offenders.

"Thad shows his prowess in a ready stance"... and the grease playing World of Warcraft for a week straight with no shower

"Thad shows his prowess in a ready stance"... and the grease in his hair from playing video games for a week straight with no shower... nice gloves bro

For all you nerds out there that got blackballed by Lambda Lambda Lambda, the clan of ye Atlanta realm, The High Spires, are looking for warriors in the Atlanta area. I hear they are a mighty strong chapter with many a brave lad. They have an online forum, with 3 total brave soldiers in the entire message board.  They also smoke pole. I know some people get lonely or sometimes get caught up in things that they shouldn’t, but  I would probably rather become a meth head than hang out with these hobbits.

I knew a kid at UGA whose name was Kelvin. Kelvin carried around the Lord of the Rings (hardback version), had long bleach blonde hair, wore a leather headband, and majored in Native American Religion. He told me that his favorite thing to do was to climb up into a tree, read a book, and enjoy nature after eating a bunch of mushrooms. As normal as that sounds, I think ‘ol Kelvin could certainly be a Dagorhir suspect.

Ragnarok 2009-- Yes there are actuall that many people

Ragnarok 2009-- Yes there are actually that many losers in one place

The Atlanta Chapter of Dagorhir, excuse me The High Spires, have practice at 1pm every Sunday at Blackburn Park. If you have any questions pertaining to practice or Dagorhir, you can email Athron@dagorhir.com. Athron, hmmm, I would be pissed. That name was apparently given to him by his father, the Prince of Rohan.

Anyways, if anybodys down to go bully some losers at Blackburn Park on a Sunday after Church, hit me up.

For further entertainment,  go HERE, and check out the Aethenu chapter and all their pictures and rules… pretty fucking awesome…


Whoop whoop

Yeeeeee girrrrrrrr! Get it how ya got it!

“I got my drink on… lemme drop it real quick”


This Yachty Weekend: Bad Company & Doobie Brothers @ Chastain

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Check out the black leather vest in the back row. If that doesn’t define business time, I don’t know what does.

What do the Doobie Brothers, Bad Company, sailors caps, and Chastain Park equal? A yuppie yachty good time is what it smells like. You smell it? F yea you do. blog28

Take a good look at Bad Company and tell me you don’t want to go back in time and take notes on how they managed to bag so much tail. If you look at this picture, you should automatically think of one of three things: yachts, drugs, or sex. Anything else that comes to mind is poo and you are most certainly not yachty.

By the way, if any of you females like good music and don’t have tickets to Bad Company and Doobie Brothers, let me know. The drummer of Bad Company is a friend and is looking for a female to hang out with backstage after their set. If you understand what this means and have a thing for old bad asses with funky hair, hit me on the hip and I’ll get you where you need to be. Ow ow. Go get em.

It’s the weekend, let’s go make some bad decisions.


Maurice Clarett Making a Comeback… from Prison

Comeback time!

Sweet tatts, dog.

Maurice Clarett is asking for an early release from prison to pursue a career in the NFL. Maurice says that the earlier that he gets out, than the earlier he can start training for the League. He claims that NFL teams have been contacting him for his services whiles he’s been in prison. Three words are immdiately coming to mind… Yeah fuckin right!

Isn’t this the same dude who was robbing people for cell phones like a year ago? Didn’t he get caught with a bunch of guns and a bullet proof vest on like right after that? Not exactly what NFL teams are looking for these days, especially after the Mike Vick and Pacman Jones escapades.

Wait a tick, didn’t you make a “comeback” already and run a 4.8 40 yard dash at the combine? I think that NFL ship has sailed, Maurice. You might have a better shot of getting out of prison if you were a little more realistic.  Tell everyone that you want to get out so you can start training to become a bagboy at Piggly Wiggly. I think people might actually pity you and be more lenient if you played the pathetic loser card. But then again, who wants their groceries bagged by Maurice Clarrett?


RIP Georgia Theatre… Athens Won’t Be the Same Without You

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It’s a sad day for music lovers in Athens, Georgia and to anyone that’s ever had the pleasure of going to a show at the historic Georgia Theater. Early this morning, around 7am, a fire began that eventually led to the collapse of the building located in the heart of downtown Athens. Widespread Panic, R.E.M, and the B-52’s are three world-famous bands that graced the stage of the Georgia Theater during its reign over downtown Athens and helped mold the venue into a music landmark. I can’t help but be extremely disheartened when I think of all the experiences that I had in that building.

Some of my fondest memories of my four and a half years at the University of Georgia took place in the storied Georgia Theatre. Affectionately known among my friends and I as “The GATH” or “GATHY”, I had the pleasure of going to shows at the venue weekly throughout my tenure at UGA. I can’ t count the amount of friends I made at that place, the times I had with them, and the years that we took off our life while raging there. Everytime I walked in that joint, I could count on having a great time with the people that I came with, and the people that I knew I was going to run into when I got there. Even on Gamedays (yes, it’s capitalized), I would always love going into the Theatre whenever we stepped out of the game early and start boozing with Swamp, Wilmot, and the other friendly faces that were staples of the Georgia Theatre.  I have been back on multiple occasions to relive the glory days and check out some music since I’ve been in the “real world”, and the Theatre certainly hadn’t lost it’s zing. Not only did I nearly have a nostalgia attack just from walking back into the place, but also at the sheer number of familiar faces I saw after being displaced from Athens for nearly two years.

It was a fixture of Athens and my best friends and I spent countless nights tripping our faces off to some of the best bands around. Musicians and fans alike had a strong affinity for the venue and it was evident by the amount of bands that repeatedly came back year after year. A lot of great local bands were proud to call the Theatre home. Even world renowned bands loved the GATH and would come back and play there when they could easily sell out much larger venues. Sound Tribe Sector 9, Widespread Panic, String Cheese, Drive By Truckers, Beck, Galactic, The Disco Biscuits, Ween, Perpetual Groove, Lotus, Umphrey’s McGee,  Band of Horses, Girl Talk, and Bone Thugs ‘n Harmony are just some of the many bands that I had the pleasure of witnessing during my tenure in Athens. It really is incredible to think of how many great bands took stage at the corner of Lumpkin and Clayton throughout the years.

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This is truly a sad day. I’ve received countless texts and emails from friends that I shared experiences with at the Georgia Theatre. It really is an odd feeling. A great friend of mine  that I haven’t spoken to in a while sent me a message early this morning. It read, “RIP GA Theatre. Think about all them times me and you raged it in that place. God dang.” Another friend, who is now on the other side of the country said, “Everyone else was out getting blasted in the bars, but we were in the Theatre getting our funk on, and I wouldn’t take back one second of it.” Altough not profound or philosphical statements, it was certainly true. Good times were always to be had in ‘ol Gathy and that’s a maja maja understatement. As sad and dramatic as this sounds at first, I feel like the Georgia Theatre helped influence me into the person I am today.

It’s important to be thankful for all the times we had in the Georgia Theatre. It’s a blessing that it passed away in it’s sleep and that noone was hurt. Let’s hope that the historic landmark is rebuilt and once again is a house of music so newcomers can experience the yachtiness that was the GATH. We shall miss you Gathy, and we hope that you are resurrected and once again open your doors. If you do, I will be there, and I plan on losing a shit ton of brain cells when that day comes.

What was your craziest or fondest memory of the Georgia Theatre? What will you remember most? Feel free to leave comments and this could get pretty entertaining. A benefit for the displaced employees will be put on by my good friends Perpetual Groove at the Classic Center tomorrow at 9pm.

Example Comment: ________ was awesome. I remember when it was me, _______ , _________, and ________ and we ate _______ and did _______. Man, that was _______. Can’t wait til ______ comes to town and we get to ________ again.


Nutshot Anyone? F’n Creeps

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I apologize for the whole image not being able to display, but I think you get the picture. Go HERE if you really want proof that there are people really this creepy on this planet, let alone city.

I know it’s a recession, but are people really this desperate? What kind creepy shit is this? I’m disturbed solely by the fact that there is a market for this fucked up kind of perverseness. I mean beastiality may take the cake, but this is up there.

Seriously, what kind of fucked up perves are out there where they would actually pay to see some half-naked poor person get hit in the nuts? I got emailed this yesterday by a friend and thought it was a complete joke until he followed up with the link. The funniest part is that they are actually scaling the pay based on what types of hit they’re willing to take and whether or not they can record it on video? WTF is wrong with people.

Is this some creep Eastern European “Hostel” type skeez where randars pay to inflict pain on someone else? Please, if you responded to this ad, let me know so I remember to never talk to you again.

Go to adult gigs on Craigslist and then don’t lock your doors tonight. Let me know tomorrow whether or not you slept.


Hybrid Done Right: Nike Air Hoop Structure Triax 91

Freshy fresh

Freshy fresh

Call me crazy, but I’d say that these are the best hybrids that Nike has done in a really long time. The original Nike Air Structure Triax that dropped in 1991 made some noise when they were re-released last year, but I have a feeling the new basketball version is going to be a serious must-cop for sneakerheads all over. Keeping with the theme of recycling designs, Nike must have put their best and brightest on this new shoe.  The translucent gum rubber sole, air bubble, and high ankle support immediately draw comparisons to the classic Jordan VI’s. The shoes overall shape and accents are reminiscent of the old school J’s (IMO), but still reflect multiple elements of the original running shoe. 

 The bad news about these kicks is that Nike is dropping them during the wrong season. These are set to release around the holidays later this year and just really don’t look like a winter shoe to me. Can you picture these, loosely laced with a complimenting tee and some shorts? Whoo-whee these scream summa time. Granted, they are dope nonetheless, but like my homie Deolu was saying, “I can either go down to MIA in the winter to rock ’em, or I’d have to keep them on ice until summer rolled around.” Real talk. 

 For all of you impatient fuckers, go cop the running shoes for the summer. You can get them in multiple different colorways and they are easy to find for less than a bill. Until Nike starts dropping some new designs that are actually dope, we’ll have to feast on the leftovers.

Nike Air Structure Triax 91

Nike Air Structure Triax 91--Retro