Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Yachtiness

Cop Bangs Cows

JINDICT03a

This guy enjoys getting his penis slobbed on by cows. Not just any cows, but little baby ones. Say hello to the rightfully suspended police officer named Robert Melia. Stop thinking about how much this guy looks like the owl from the Tootsie Roll “How many licks?” commercials and start thinking about how far you want to stay away from this creep. In 2006, Melia was charged with animal cruelty for sticking his purple headed yogurt slinger into the mouth of FIVE different cows in Burlington County, New Jersey and the charges were just recently dropped. Apparently, bestiality is still legal in New Jowsey. WTF!?

There is something seriously wrong with our legal system if someone can walk away from something as perverse as this. Also, how the fuck is bestiality not illegal there? I mean honestly, it literally means having sex with animals. How is that possible? I know plenty of people that have gotten drunk and made some bad decisions, but I’m yet to hear a story about someone waking up next to something that isn’t human. To be honest, I would probably bang a mermaid, but that’s about as far as it goes.  Besides, the laws are a little blurry when it comes to supernatural creatures anyways. Seriously though, how do you even get to that point where you decide to start having sexual relations with an animal? I mean, it just seems like a lose-lose situation. 

New Jersey hasn’t gotten around to outlawing bestiality yet, so this guy gets to use the same water fountains and public playgrounds that your darling children get to use. Really? This guy walks around sticking his wanker in live beef and gets to live a normal life while people are going to jail for marijuana. If you did a poll in your local community and asked everyone if they would rather have potheads or cowfuckers in their town, what do you think the outcome would be? My faith in mankind wants to think potheads would win by a landslide.

I know this is a shocker, but this COP is also accused of sexually assaulting three young girls and one little boy. Let me get this straight. This guy molests litte girls, little boys, little cows, and he’s not in jail getting raped by Bubba yet? That’s a crying shame. Can’t wait to see the YouTube video of this guy burning in hell.

Nice gizzard

Nice gizzard

Check out Robert Melia’s girlfriend. If I were him, I would’ve told the judge that I was just confused and thought the cows were my girlfriend.

Advertisements

One response

  1. what the hell? Now, i’m not a cop or professional detective, or batman, but i can tell that ‘cow’ is actually some sort of human type critter. the question is how did he find five of them???

    It almost doesn’t matter how skankin’ ass ugly a broad is, they almost always have something against having a dong in the mouth. What is that about?

    November 5, 2009 at 1:20 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s