Yacht Week FTW
Cha-ching. I found my calling. This video gave me a semi.
Can you imagine how fucking amazing this trip would be? I can’t imagine anything better than Le Don and crew being on a yacht for a week straight and the only time I’m not baking in the sun or swimming in crystal clear water, I would be raging to some euro DJ with hundreds of girls that don’t speak my language. Honestly? Taking a yacht, that you get to choose, from port city to port city, only to get off and party with good looking, young people from across the globe? That is retardedly awesome and just the prospect of this trip makes me want to fist pump. I imagine by day 3 I would have ditched my friends and would probably wind up on some 100 footer with a group of college-aged Swedish girls who only know how to say “yes” and “that tickles”.
You have 3 choices of European cruising destinations: Ibiza, Greece, or Croatia. You also have a “Spring Break” B-squad option of doing the British Virgin Islands. I would obviously choose the Euro trip because of the accents and diversification of ethnicities, but also because I wouldn’t want to be competing for girls with guys that eat my bodyweight in protein everyday (guidos) in the BVI’s. Of course, you would have to be very stern and diligent in recruiting your deck mates. This part is vital. Obviously, the first rule is you can’t have any of your ugly friends allowed on the boat. That goes without explanation. Second, only bring friends that know how to keep shit a secret. Of course, you do want some stories leaked back to the United States, just to build on your already stellar social resume. But you don’t want Johnny Gossip on the boat with you because in most ridiculous vacays, there may be some not so yachty happenings that you don’t really want to be on the Facebook news feed when you return. Another guideline I’d probably go with is don’t bring any single girl friends on the trip with you. Chances are, on an off night when your getting drunk in a romantic harbor, that you and that single friend on the trip are going to bump uglies. Now this in itself is not a bad thing, but two days later when you’re in Port O’Debauchery banging out a spanish chick named Sophia, old friendo probably won’t appreciate it and might make for some drama for the rest of the voyage. Let’s keep things smooth.
All in all, it would cost about $3,000 to do this trip right, which is a bit on the steep side, but this isn’t JV tryouts either. Just picture yourself on the coast of Corfu wearing a sailor’s cap and drinking champagne on the deck of someone else’s yacht, while a group of topless french girls dance to Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the USA”. You just can’t put a price tag on that.