Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Yachtiness

Stalking 4 Dummies

In technologies never ending quest of making reality take the back burner to social networking and virtual interaction, it has once again taken a step closer to hand shaking being obsolete, and stalking being that much more mainstream. “Recognzr” is a new iPhone app that lets you take a picture of someones face, hit “recognize”, then the app searches Facebook, Twitter, and Myspace for the person you just sketchily took a picture of.

In my awesome opinion, I think that walking up to someone with an outstretched hand as on offer of introduction is a more conventional and personable method, but what do I know, I don’t kidnap babies. How creepy can one get? How would you go about doing this? Act like your reading an email at eye level of the girl across from you on MARTA and totally play it off like nothing happened when it makes the camera shudder noise?

“Hey you look pretty cool, maybe we can be friends on Facebook, stand there while I take a picture of your face and my phone identifies you and where you live.” What normal girl wouldn’t love that? Seems to me like a device that would be great for a movie like “Hostel”. Eastern European dudes would go crazy for this app.

“Look, Vladimir, check out this great new opplication. Now, we can tell what country a tourist is from, their age, and better valuate their worth when we sell them as sex slaves.”

If this application makes any top 25 lists on iTunes, I’m putting extra locks on my doors. Creeps.

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