Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Yachtiness

Dad Arrested for Smacking Daughter for Eating Pringles

In true Alabama fashion, a Birmingham man was arrested for child abuse after slapping his two-year-old daughter across the face– for eating his Pringles. The infant girl was taken to the emergency room because of an abrasion and large hand print on her face, which resulted in a phone call to social services. When investigators asked the man about the marks on his daughters face, he plainly confessed to smacking her  because she stopped him once he’d popped. She’s fucking two, and your daughter, you fucking primate.

I mean how much damage can a two year-old do to a stack of barbecue Pringles anyway? Chill out guy. They aren’t even the best flavor. You should be slapped for not buying bacon ranch. Fuck you man, you suck on so many levels.

Granted, people this young, fat, and ugly shouldn’t be given the ability to procreate. They are obviously going to make children that are genetically predisposed to liking junk food. Roll Tide you sick fuck. I hope you get raped in prison and catch the HIV.

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