Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Yachtiness

Posts tagged “awesome

Coolest Birds Ever

Please stop shitting on us

This story brought Le Don Francois out of retirement, and I write this with a huge grin on my face.

You can’t make this up. Music fans and cool people across the world rejoice as Kings of Leon was forced off stage due to being shit on. Last night, pigeons in the rafters at an amphitheater in St. Louis apparently didn’t like the whiny bitch music they heard and decided to do something about it. They conveyed their dislike for the band by shitting all over them.

The show was canceled after three songs because a pigeon shat in the bassists mouth. According to the band, birds were shitting on them the entire time leading up to the show and they finally pulled the plug after multiple face shots.

Afterwards the drummer Tweeted: “So sorry St. Louis. We had to bail, pigeons sh–ting in Jared’s mouth and it was too unsanitary to continue. FULL REFUNDS 4 ALL. SO SORRY. Don’t take it out on Jared, it’s the f–king venue’s fault. You may enjoy being s–t on but we don’t. Sorry for all who traveled many miles.”

Rumor has it, KoL was unhappy about the heat and were discussing cancelling upon arrival. Either way, I can’t imagine a better scenario, unless it involved more shit and more animals, followed by the band announcing their retirement and the government burning every copy of “Sex is on Fire”. Pigeons everywhere, take note.

You can check out my favorite Kings of Leon video below:


Yacht Week FTW

Cha-ching. I found my calling. This video gave me a semi.

Can you imagine how fucking amazing this trip would be? I can’t imagine anything better than Le Don and crew being on a yacht for a week straight and the only time I’m not baking in the sun or swimming in crystal clear water, I would be raging to some euro DJ with hundreds of girls that don’t speak my language. Honestly? Taking a yacht, that you get to choose, from port city to port city, only to get off and party with good looking, young people from across the globe? That is retardedly awesome and just the prospect of this trip makes me want to fist pump. I imagine by day 3 I would have ditched my friends and would probably wind up on some 100 footer with a group of college-aged Swedish girls who only know how to say “yes” and “that tickles”.

You have 3 choices of European cruising destinations: Ibiza, Greece, or Croatia. You also have a “Spring Break” B-squad option of doing the British Virgin Islands. I would obviously choose the Euro trip because of the accents and diversification of ethnicities, but also because I wouldn’t want to be competing for girls with guys that eat my bodyweight in protein everyday (guidos) in the BVI’s. Of course, you would have to be very stern and diligent in recruiting your deck mates. This part is vital. Obviously, the first rule is you can’t have any of your ugly friends allowed on the boat. That goes without explanation. Second, only bring friends that know how to keep shit a secret. Of course, you do want some stories leaked back to the United States, just to build on your already stellar social resume. But you don’t want Johnny Gossip on the boat with you because in most ridiculous vacays, there may be some not so yachty happenings that you don’t really want to be on the Facebook news feed when you return. Another guideline I’d probably go with is don’t bring any single girl friends on the trip with you. Chances are, on an off night when your getting drunk in a romantic harbor, that you and that single friend on the trip are going to bump uglies. Now this in itself is not a bad thing, but two days later when you’re in Port O’Debauchery banging out a spanish chick named Sophia, old friendo probably won’t appreciate it and might make for some drama for the rest of the voyage. Let’s keep things smooth.

One of your yachty options

All in all, it would cost about $3,000 to do this trip right, which is a bit on the steep side, but this isn’t JV tryouts either. Just picture yourself on the coast of Corfu wearing a sailor’s cap and drinking champagne on the deck of someone else’s yacht, while a group of topless french girls dance to Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the USA”. You just can’t put a price tag on that.


Feed Your Brain: King Tut Style

Now, I know most of you bitches that are reading this blog are excited about watching a show about a giant group of pathetic, desperate money grubbing females and one gigantic douchelord callled “The Bachelor”. Fret not my intelligent friends, you have other options on television. Starting last night, Discovery delved into it’s two part series “King Tut Unwrapped” which for the first time, the boy King’s DNA is mapped, his family is officially identified and his short life is investigated in detail. Since the groundbreaking discovery of his intact tomb in the Valley of the Dead in 1922, there has been an ever-increasing interest in King Tut, and ancient Egypt in general. Tonight will shed answers on many questions that have plagued scholars for decades.

If you missed the first half of the series, you can watch or record it tonight on Discovery Channel tonight at 6pm. Dr. Zahi Hawass, aka Dr. Egypt is a man who has built his life around egyptology and the mysteries surrounding King Tut and other famous ancient Egyptians. He is leading this study and now has the technology able to answer critical questions in understanding one of the most famous Pharaoh’s of all time. His distinctive voice may annoy the crap out of you, but give it 30 minutes or so and you’ll be picking up his dialect faster than your parents cleaning lady who you still don’t understand after 12 years of mopping and cleaning while you sit around and talk to her as a formality, knowing that you don’t understand one fucking word she is saying. The researchers on this show are genius, and I am certainly amped on finding out who King Tut’s real parents are. You never know, it could be your mom (ohhhhhhhh!).

So set your DVR for 6pm & 8pm tonight and be ready to record 4 hours straight of awesomeness (only 2 if you were able to catch last night). I would probably have a couple of bowl packs ready so you can break it down in installments since it is lengthy, but be ready to find out some shit about little Tut that will make your head spin. Dr. Zahi Hawass and the Discovery team are ready to kick you in the nuts with some serious ancient Egyption knowledge so wear your jock strap.


Beaaannnnnsssss

What a spunion. Honestly, How do you recover from this?

“Sup baby girl? I heard you like em big, and spun.”

Apparently, there is a huge obesity and ecstasy problem in the WWE.

“I swear, if they play AC/DC Bag I’m going to freak out, eat 4 triple stacks, and strip down to my underwear while covering myself in red paint. Might even shit myself later on. The guy next to me already has.”


Who Said Women’s Sports Were Boring?

Holy sheet. I think I found the theme for the next hit porno. Eesh. These girls are fucking loco but are actually kind of hot. “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC or that song from the “300” needs to be raging in the background during this video. Either that, or silence this video and watch it with some intense electronica.

The last triple combo K.O. that girl pulls is straight off a Chuck Norris training video. The soccer ball to the face is pretty legit too. Mormons vs. New Mexicans for the win.

I officially am a fan of women’s collegiate soccer.


Big Boi, Clipse and Yelawolf LIVE in Atlanta Friday November 27th

big_boy_flyer_sm

Everyone that is going to be in Atlanta over Thanksgiving weekend has something epic to look forward to besides getting fat as shit. Gallery Group Atlanta is kicking things off right with internationally acclaimed BIG BOI of Outkast.

Antwan Andre Patton, better known by his stage name Big Boi, is an American rapper, song-writer, record producer, actor, and one half of the alternative hip hop duo Outkast. Grammy Award winning Big Boi is performing classic and new material from his upcoming album, “Sir Luscious Leftfoot: Son of Chico Dusty”.

Combined with this incredible act, platinum artists Clipse will be throwing down, including music from their new album “Til the Casket Drops”. Clipse’s will be performing new hits like “I’m Good” featuring Pharrell Williams, while also revisiting all of their chart topping hits from previous albums. These hip-hop icons and fashion entrepreneurs are ready to return to Atlanta and rock The Gallery at King Plow Arts Center.

Yelawolf will be starting things off right with his full band, The Symphony Crack Orchestra. Voted the best live show in Atlanta by Creative Loafing, the Alabama native will be putting on a seriously wild show that you definitely don’t want to miss. DJ Mayhem will be keeping the crowd hyped throughout the evening, while Gallery Group’s own Priceless the Kid will be hosting the event.

Atlanta’s own OH SNAP! Kid will be capturing this event with his signature free lance photography and photo booth which will get out of control.

This will be one for the books… Tickets will move fast and go on sale MONDAY.

Big Boi

Clipse

Yelawolf

Symphony Crack Orchestra

OH SNAP! Kid

DJ Mayhem


Fashion Shmashion Vol. Deux

As the holiday season approaches, the weather getting colder serves as a reminder to gear up on the freshy fresh that will last you from November to March. I always like winter time because it gives one the chance to get kitted out from head to toe. Don’t get me wrong– I love the summer-time steez of rocking tee’s or sportshirts with shorts and matching sneaks, but winter is the time to take that shit to the next level, ése. Tweed, houndstooth, suede, cashmere, wool, and neutrals combined with nontraditional colors is the Looker T. Washington this winter. Jackets, vests, sweaters, hoodies with bomb tee’s or dress shirts from the waist up, cords or jeans with shoes to match the shirt from the waist down, and some sort of head covering mechanism to finish the fuckin drill. What I’m going to do next is drop some knowledge on you suckas about shoes that are being released this month. Take a seat by the fire and let Le Don show you how to keep those Christmas socks covered in something fresh.

Asics GT-II Tweed Pack

BAM, just like that you got some heaterbockles that everyone can appreciate. Asics are underrated in my awesome opinion and these are super serial and a quality addition to any closet. These Asics GT-II Tweed Packs have the old-school Fratty McFratterson appeal, while keeping the colorway variance dope enough to catch someones eye, without being too much. These kicks are as versatile as you want them to be. Dress them up with a button-down and cord blazer, or dress them down with a hoodie and a Bill Crispy tee. Either way, these are heaters have just enough “umph” to put some bourbon in your nog.

Vans Winter Chukka

Fuck your Dad’s boat shoes and your frat bros Wallabee’s. Get emo on some folk and drop the Vans Chukka on that ass to let them know you’re not a number. These neutrals will kill in any setting. I’d even consider taking these on the feet to church on Christmas Eve with a heady holiday sweater and a mustache. Get on these steezers and remix your traditional footwear with something new. Classic appeal FTMFW.

Nike Dunk SB Low "Un-Hemp"

Cop these bad boys if you like a hot sauce on your collard greens. Nike SB is cracking down on the wackness that had been plaguing most of their 2009 droppings and finishing off the year right with their November and December releases. These Nike SB Dunk Low “UnHemps” look like a sex baby between the Dunk SB  “Hunters” and the Dunk SB “Hemps”. The mellow tone of the hemp combined with the “don’t-shoot-me-i’m-hunting” orange make one rad shoe for the sneaker enthusiast. Definitely not as versatile as the others on this list, but are an absolute smash if you want to turn some heads. I don’t know about you, but I always walk a little easier knowing that I have industrial grade marijuana on my feet.

Del Toro Shoes

Come correct to your next black tie event or holiday party with a classy pair of evening slippers to go along with your cocaine and caviar. A great friend of mine in Miami, Florida started this company, Del Toro Shoes, with Stubbs & Wooton in mind, but offers his high quality shoes at about 1/4th of the price. Easy to dress down to casual with jeans and a blazer, these slippers are more versatile than one might think. Offering dozens of emroidered designs and customizable options, you can add your own touch to any pair of Del Toro’s. Raise your pinky when you drink that Champagne and get yachty this New Year’s Eve with this timeless style that is rarely seen in the South.

Spaulding, take your foot off the boat.


5 Funky Ways to Feel Good

It’s amazing how a new song or a fresh artist can make completely turn your day around. Considering the fact that work blows and so does a lot of music, I’ve compiled a short list of songs, artists, music videos, or albums that will hopefully alleviate some of the wompness that shits on your day. Instead of wowing you with my intellect and describing music with ridiculous adjectives that you don’t have time to look up on dictionary.com, I’ve decided to make it easier for the masses to understand how this music makes you feel through elaborate imagery and ridiculous scenario’s where this music is appropriate. Each week, I will update LeDonFrancois.com with another short list of can’t miss music. Some of the artists I have written about, some I have not, some are well-known, and some are on their way– all have that vibe that will put some jelly in your doughnut.

Washed Out

1. ArtistWashed Out–   The subject of much recent buzz locally and nationally, Washed Out is taking feel good music to the next level. Washed Out seemingly transcends reality and engages the listener with hypnotic melodies, intoxicating vocals, and catchy eighties-esque beats that music lovers of any genre will enjoy. Instead of skipping from song to song when listening to an album, I find myself listening to Washed Out’s music all the way through, and many times taking it back to the top when the music stops. Being featured in Rolling Stone, Pitchfork, and the New York Times, Washed Out certainly has not wasted any time gaining the spotlight.

How it makes me feel: Like I’m a fucking baller sitting on a beach in Belize with an 80’s, blonde flat-top while I pay 5 cents per cerveza to the nicest old waiter who tells funny jokes. There’s a beautiful broad that looks like shes from the future sitting next to me and she just keeps on telling me I’m awesome. There are some other people there, I like them, and they’re all groovin. Iguanas and shit. Win.

I don’t know what the f is going on but my myspace links aren’t working so go to http://www.myspace.com/thebabeinthewoods to listen to Washed Out

2. Album: “Manners” by Passion Pit– Soulful and passionate music that makes you want to dance like you are good at it and hug people instead of getting all emo and talking about feelings. Passion Pit is on absolute fire. Taking the United States and Europe by storm with their new album “Manners”, Michael Angelakos and his bandmates have experienced a meteoric rise over the past year. Their sound is like crack and their live performance is one of the best I’ve ever witnessed. If you’re not on the Passion Pit train, jump on it and ride because these guys are going straight to the top. Woop woop. I listen to this album pretty much daily when I get done with a long day of hard work. Windows down. Epic.

How it makes me feel: Like I’m walking down the street at a fast pace with a smile on my face and everyone I pass by is feeling the same way and “Manners” is playing as the background music (aka soundtrack). Everyone I pass I shoot them the guns (Zoolander style) and say “Yeah!” and they shoot them back and say “Alright!” and one of us does a spin move and we both keep on walking towards the next smiling face. Heavy bass in harmony with my footsteps. Euphoric.

Listen at http://www.myspace.com/passionpitjams

ptkblog

3. Song: “Feel Good” by Pricless the Kid– Stealing this track off his upcoming mixtape for Diamond Supply Co. called “Diamond Life”. Price was holding this banger for the tape but like all good music, it leaked so he went ahead and gave it to the public on the free free. “Feel Good” is a smash that PTK did with T-Pains newest artist, Doe Boy, and the ever-so-talented producers Ashanti “The Mad Violinist” Floyd and Chris Morgan. This track is one to get down to. Not only is the beat on point, but they lyrics make you want to live your life like it’s a weekend.

How it makes me feel: Like I’m on a big ol yacht with an ascot, white oxford with my initials on the sleeve, a navy blazer, and an ever-so-necessary captains hat on while I have a bunch of pretty ladies sitting there basking in the sun rolling me up government issues. A good looking Puerto Rican beauty asks me how I take my mojito. I tell her to make it how I like it dadgummit, and she just does it. I feel like I’m the man, and apparently I am, considering the yacht and the amazing women rolling up funky.

Listen to “Feel Good” by Priceless the Kid

4. Song/Music Video: “99Luft Balons” by Nena (German version)- Although I don’t understand one word of this song, it’s one of my all-time favorites. This 80’s video is a prime example of what some big hair, a funky beat, and a little cocaine can do for the music industry. Who needs to know what the lyrics actually mean when the song is this good? This is one of those tracks where if I tried to describe it, you would have no fucking clue what song I’m talking about, but once the beat started bumping you’d say “Oh, yaaaaaaa! I know this jam.” Don’t waste your time downloading the American version. The German version is significantly yachtier and makes you feel cultured at the same time. I love the way Nena is looking at me when the video starts, I don’t know what shes saying but I’m going to go ahead and assume that it’s very sexual and directed towards me. The video is extremely weird but the song is epic and Nena is one bangin Germ. This was our soundtrack to this past weekend in Nashville so you can imagine how stellar my weekend was. Having a song stuck in your head is one thing, and having one stuck in your head that you don’t speak or understand is just a doozie.

How it makes me feel: Like I’m in a discoteca in Prague on my birthday and there are people from all over the world in one big rager den of a club and some bastard dosed be with the best ecstasy in Europe. I’m doing the running man as fast as I can and having an intense competition with myself and look up to find the entire club doing the running man at the same pace as me. All these goofy European fucks have a clueless smile on their face and are looking at me with that blank Idontspeakyourlanguage-smile where they don’t really understand what is going on but they’re doing it just because they think they’re supposed to. Then, out of nowhere, the song slows down dramatically and Kelly Kapowski comes walking towards me through a cloud of smoke singing the words in German. I tell her I love her, she says something in German that I don’t understand, we kiss, and then the beat starts raging and the running man continues.

5. Album: “Crystal Castles” by Crystal Castles- Crystal Castles is an experimental electronic music band from the province of Ontario consisting of producer Ethan Kath and vocalist Alice Glass that redefine the word intense. Although well-known throughout the rest of the country and Europe, Atlanta seems to be runt of the litter when it comes to adapting to and discovering new music. Originally, it was just producer Ethan Kath but after witnessing Alice Glass perform a live show with her punk band, he quickly decided she was the missing ingredient to his music and they started recording together. Kath’s intricate beats are sometimes soothing and sometimes chaotic, but blend well with Glass’s distinct vocals to create a vibe that is rarely found in most electronic music. Just an example of how hard this duo throws down, one of  Crystal Castles shows in Los Angeles this summer was shut down by the riot police because of safety precautions. Sounds like a party to me.

ccblog

How it makes me feel: Like I’m at a hipster rave in an underground music club and all the people’s eyes have gone black (True Blood style) and are in trance of raging unlike anything I’ve ever seen. All the humans there look like robots and all the characters from Mario Kart 64 are at the party. Wario starts a moshpit. Every time people bump into each other the “ching” from Mario on Nintendo sound resonates. Luigi is breakdancing and spinning on his head while Yoshi is bouncing around like crazy and is more jacked up on boog shug than Chevy Chase in Caddyshack. I walk out of the club at 6am and the Batmobile is there waiting to give me a ride home. Digital and bombastic. Trippy.

Listen at http://www.myspace.com/crystalcastles

All of these artists are available on iTunes. Go get yourself some good music.


Photobooth Failures

I always love going to parties, raves, concerts, and puppet shows where there are photo booths to get ridiculous in. Nothing like capturing the moment, eh? You know what else I love? Looking at random photo albums on Facebook from parties that I never attended or heard of. Some call it creepy, some call it inquisitive, I call it hilarious. All the following people came to party, but ended up getting ripped on by some random kids blog.

Rarr

Rarr

This guy is stuck at the nexus of Mortal Kombat and ecstasy. Not only does he look like a raging douche, but he also epitomizes how skewed one’s percepion of “cool” is while on drugas. This rookie rolled to the party solo. That is a Men’s Warehouse guarantee. 

Indigo Girls

Indigo Girls

This pack of lesbos keeps it real.  The girl in the middle is essentially an all-star. She came to party and she didn’t over do it with rookie antics like glowsticks or some hardass face like her linebacker friend to the left. She painted herself to look like a robot, then, she wrote “Fucking Machine” on her shirt. Point taken.  Rage.

My gosh I’m scared of the girl on the left.

Godric

Godric

This fangbanger just got done reading the last of Twilight series and saw some humans to prowl on. When he’s not working at Hot Topic, he enjoys being the person everyone looks at during a party and wonders what the hell they’re doing there without a cape and a fake sword. This guy definitely dabbles in Dagorhir.

College!

College!

Look at this crew, they just rolled up to the party in a lifted Dodge Ram.  These guys are killing it. Homie up front did drugs for the first time and decided it was worthy enough to break out his little hippie brothers tie dye shirt. Redneck Jim in the back left broke even out his hemp necklace. These guys drove all the way from Dawsonville to rage. Props to Sigma Wexicon.

Ayyyyyy

Ayyyyyy

Say hello to the drug dealer at the party. Tip to the custies,  the bookbags these guys carry at concerts aren’t filled with overnight clothes and a toothbrush. If they are wearing a grill and a chain, you can put your life savings on the fact that this guy has a bag full of felonies. Props on the grill, that thing probably gets you laid on the reg.

Awkward

Awkward

Nice flair, dog. Besides working at Flingers, this guy listens to electronica while not shaving. Apparently, he’s so emo that it’s not even gay when he hooks up with dudes.

Until next time, have a weekend worth writing about and avoid being a douche on camera.


Random Awesomenicity

I'll fiiiiind youuu

I'll fiiiiind youuu

Beeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnns! We all missed you and hope you didn’t subsequently die of an overdose after this picture was taken. I’m pretty surprised to see Beans with a female. I was under the impression that this guy mated with grizzly bears but apparently he dabbles with retarded girls, too. Look at her face, there is no way she doesn’t have a lisp and speak with a deaf persons voice.

I’m not even sure what to say about the red shit.

Howdy

Howdy

This picture is awesome. If I could have this pic blown up to at least 24″x36”, it would be hanging on the wall in my place. How can you not love a pregnant redneck woman holding a watermelon and a glock. Crazy white girl isn’t even smiling, which means she’s serious, which is scary.  

“Dadgummit, I knew we were supposed to get our glamour shots taken today for our Daughters of the American Revolution scrap book, but I lef all ma props at the house.  All I had in ma truck was a big ‘ol watermelon and this here pistol.”

Rape

Rape

Everyone say hello to Pizza the Clown. This picture straight up gives me a bad feeling. It’s like a creepy version of a picture that you’d see on the wall at Chili’s. Who the fuck becomes a clown anyways? It’s definitely the creepiest of all professions. You dress up like a fag, you name yourself something ridiculously stupid, and your job is to be with kids all day. Sketchy. I don’t know about you guys, but  I’ve always hated clowns with a passion. Talentless hobos, all they have to do is sit there and look stupid. My dog can do that. I would feel a lot safer if a dog were around my kids instead of this fucking douche with a testicle as a nose.

If you watch this clip from “Hot Rod” and don’t laugh, then you probably are about as much fun as a quadriplegic at a dance party.


How Can You Not Miss the Eighties?

You probably already noticed that I have incredibly blue eyes.

This is straight up awesome. I want to do a play by play and rip on every comment from this video, but then this blog would be longer than my… nevermind. It’s Monday morning and I’m sure that some of you are still hung over from this weekend so just let the video do the talking. This is so much more legit than eHarmony. Enjoy.

“I’m looking for the goddess. Are you the goddess? Who is the godess?” WTF.


Paul & I Been Togetha Fo Fo Long Yuuurs

“I don’t know what she do with the chicken tetrazzini, but Paul loves it.”

Mmmmmm. Sounds kinky.

Thank you Dominique, Paul, Alycia, and chicken tetrazzini for exemplifying why foreigners think were fucking stupid.


Ether Party!

I wasn’t aware that people were still down with doing ether but you can always count on the blue collar, old school grunge hippies to break out the good stuff. Honestly, I don’t what this guy is on but I think everyone needs to steer clear. Anybody seen the show Eastbound and Down? This is quite reminiscent of the dance rendition Kenny Powers put on at the middle school dance. These bong fuckers are literally on their own planet and I love it. A couple observations that you might find enjoyable. Please note:

  • The main guys Ramone’s shirt that was redesigned by Spiderman. That shit is awesome. Tucked in with the black belt and black jeans makes me want to go buy a pack of Doral’s.
  • The guy in the back with the mustache’s striking resemblance to the Monopoly man. All he needs is a monocle. P.S. Sick cycling shoes. I bet you feel like a robot.
  • The fact that both of these creeps are rocking those bandana-ish hats that you can only find at truck stops along the highway. They obviously rode together. Or shared a space ship.
  • The extent of the obliviousness of the peope that are surrounding them. Apparently, not many people noticed the epicurian dance party that was going down. I can guarantee you Don Francois would be right in the middle of this rager.

Props for going to the edge you crazy fuckers, but I think I’ll stand a few steps back and just watch you guys make fools of yourselves.

A quick mental image to get you through the weekend: Imagine these guys 5 hours AFTER this video was taken. I don’t know where they’d be, but I bet it involves an alleyway, alcohol, mescaline, broken glass, and a whole lot of lonesomeness.


This Kid’s Fucking Nuts

This is AWESOME. His mom apparently cancels his ‘World of Warcraft’ account and this is the result.

What the fuck is wrong with this kid? I thought the losers from that virtual world were nuts, but this kid makes Andy Dick seem normal. Isn’t this psycho a little old for video game freakouts and temper tantrums? His gyrating is fucking paranormal and he sounds like a murder victim.

Also, did anyone else notice the quick stick of the remote in his ass? That was fucking weeeeeeird. I don’t know about you, but that cracked me the fuck up and creeped me out simultaneously. He then followed up by going in and out of the closet? Ironic.


“You’ve seen Lord of the Rings, We Live It”

Dagorhir.com

Dagorhir.com

I think I found my new group of people to prank call and harass. Check out my homies at Dagorhir.com.  

Have you seen Role Models? If so, you would probably remember McLovin from Super Bad being a creepy tool that rocked a cape, a foam sword, armor, and lived in a fantasy world with other rejects. These fucking losers have battles where there are actual rules, regulations, and fantasy hierarchies.  Well my friends, these creepsters actually exist and they have chapters across the nation. What the fuck.

I know some people out there love them some Lord of the Rings, but I wasn’t aware that people that drive KIA’s and smoke Doral’s actually live double lives as Frodo Baggins. I mean do they keep it a secret from their coworkers at Burger King? Do they recruit? I mean these fuckers have girlfriends in their fantasy worlds. AKA They have sex as Samwise Gamjee, getting off to the thought of boning some elf. Yeah, I just went there, but it needs to be brought to peoples attention. These dwarf fuckers houses should be put on a map, just like sexual offenders.

"Thad shows his prowess in a ready stance"... and the grease playing World of Warcraft for a week straight with no shower

"Thad shows his prowess in a ready stance"... and the grease in his hair from playing video games for a week straight with no shower... nice gloves bro

For all you nerds out there that got blackballed by Lambda Lambda Lambda, the clan of ye Atlanta realm, The High Spires, are looking for warriors in the Atlanta area. I hear they are a mighty strong chapter with many a brave lad. They have an online forum, with 3 total brave soldiers in the entire message board.  They also smoke pole. I know some people get lonely or sometimes get caught up in things that they shouldn’t, but  I would probably rather become a meth head than hang out with these hobbits.

I knew a kid at UGA whose name was Kelvin. Kelvin carried around the Lord of the Rings (hardback version), had long bleach blonde hair, wore a leather headband, and majored in Native American Religion. He told me that his favorite thing to do was to climb up into a tree, read a book, and enjoy nature after eating a bunch of mushrooms. As normal as that sounds, I think ‘ol Kelvin could certainly be a Dagorhir suspect.

Ragnarok 2009-- Yes there are actuall that many people

Ragnarok 2009-- Yes there are actually that many losers in one place

The Atlanta Chapter of Dagorhir, excuse me The High Spires, have practice at 1pm every Sunday at Blackburn Park. If you have any questions pertaining to practice or Dagorhir, you can email Athron@dagorhir.com. Athron, hmmm, I would be pissed. That name was apparently given to him by his father, the Prince of Rohan.

Anyways, if anybodys down to go bully some losers at Blackburn Park on a Sunday after Church, hit me up.

For further entertainment,  go HERE, and check out the Aethenu chapter and all their pictures and rules… pretty fucking awesome…


This Yachty Weekend: Bad Company & Doobie Brothers @ Chastain

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Check out the black leather vest in the back row. If that doesn’t define business time, I don’t know what does.

What do the Doobie Brothers, Bad Company, sailors caps, and Chastain Park equal? A yuppie yachty good time is what it smells like. You smell it? F yea you do. blog28

Take a good look at Bad Company and tell me you don’t want to go back in time and take notes on how they managed to bag so much tail. If you look at this picture, you should automatically think of one of three things: yachts, drugs, or sex. Anything else that comes to mind is poo and you are most certainly not yachty.

By the way, if any of you females like good music and don’t have tickets to Bad Company and Doobie Brothers, let me know. The drummer of Bad Company is a friend and is looking for a female to hang out with backstage after their set. If you understand what this means and have a thing for old bad asses with funky hair, hit me on the hip and I’ll get you where you need to be. Ow ow. Go get em.

It’s the weekend, let’s go make some bad decisions.


RIP Georgia Theatre… Athens Won’t Be the Same Without You

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It’s a sad day for music lovers in Athens, Georgia and to anyone that’s ever had the pleasure of going to a show at the historic Georgia Theater. Early this morning, around 7am, a fire began that eventually led to the collapse of the building located in the heart of downtown Athens. Widespread Panic, R.E.M, and the B-52’s are three world-famous bands that graced the stage of the Georgia Theater during its reign over downtown Athens and helped mold the venue into a music landmark. I can’t help but be extremely disheartened when I think of all the experiences that I had in that building.

Some of my fondest memories of my four and a half years at the University of Georgia took place in the storied Georgia Theatre. Affectionately known among my friends and I as “The GATH” or “GATHY”, I had the pleasure of going to shows at the venue weekly throughout my tenure at UGA. I can’ t count the amount of friends I made at that place, the times I had with them, and the years that we took off our life while raging there. Everytime I walked in that joint, I could count on having a great time with the people that I came with, and the people that I knew I was going to run into when I got there. Even on Gamedays (yes, it’s capitalized), I would always love going into the Theatre whenever we stepped out of the game early and start boozing with Swamp, Wilmot, and the other friendly faces that were staples of the Georgia Theatre.  I have been back on multiple occasions to relive the glory days and check out some music since I’ve been in the “real world”, and the Theatre certainly hadn’t lost it’s zing. Not only did I nearly have a nostalgia attack just from walking back into the place, but also at the sheer number of familiar faces I saw after being displaced from Athens for nearly two years.

It was a fixture of Athens and my best friends and I spent countless nights tripping our faces off to some of the best bands around. Musicians and fans alike had a strong affinity for the venue and it was evident by the amount of bands that repeatedly came back year after year. A lot of great local bands were proud to call the Theatre home. Even world renowned bands loved the GATH and would come back and play there when they could easily sell out much larger venues. Sound Tribe Sector 9, Widespread Panic, String Cheese, Drive By Truckers, Beck, Galactic, The Disco Biscuits, Ween, Perpetual Groove, Lotus, Umphrey’s McGee,  Band of Horses, Girl Talk, and Bone Thugs ‘n Harmony are just some of the many bands that I had the pleasure of witnessing during my tenure in Athens. It really is incredible to think of how many great bands took stage at the corner of Lumpkin and Clayton throughout the years.

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This is truly a sad day. I’ve received countless texts and emails from friends that I shared experiences with at the Georgia Theatre. It really is an odd feeling. A great friend of mine  that I haven’t spoken to in a while sent me a message early this morning. It read, “RIP GA Theatre. Think about all them times me and you raged it in that place. God dang.” Another friend, who is now on the other side of the country said, “Everyone else was out getting blasted in the bars, but we were in the Theatre getting our funk on, and I wouldn’t take back one second of it.” Altough not profound or philosphical statements, it was certainly true. Good times were always to be had in ‘ol Gathy and that’s a maja maja understatement. As sad and dramatic as this sounds at first, I feel like the Georgia Theatre helped influence me into the person I am today.

It’s important to be thankful for all the times we had in the Georgia Theatre. It’s a blessing that it passed away in it’s sleep and that noone was hurt. Let’s hope that the historic landmark is rebuilt and once again is a house of music so newcomers can experience the yachtiness that was the GATH. We shall miss you Gathy, and we hope that you are resurrected and once again open your doors. If you do, I will be there, and I plan on losing a shit ton of brain cells when that day comes.

What was your craziest or fondest memory of the Georgia Theatre? What will you remember most? Feel free to leave comments and this could get pretty entertaining. A benefit for the displaced employees will be put on by my good friends Perpetual Groove at the Classic Center tomorrow at 9pm.

Example Comment: ________ was awesome. I remember when it was me, _______ , _________, and ________ and we ate _______ and did _______. Man, that was _______. Can’t wait til ______ comes to town and we get to ________ again.


This Yachty Weekend- Brew at the Zoo

brewatthezooThis Saturday, Zoo Atlanta is putting on their game face and throwing their second annual “Brew at the Zoo and Wine Too”. What does that entail exactly? How about a Saturday filled with monkeys, pandas, lions (rarrr), beer, reptiles, vino, and some Yacht Rock? In my cocky opinion, I’d say like it sounds like a fucking win.

Starting at 4pm (plenty of time for all you fuck ups to sober up from Friday night), the yachtiest people in Atlanta will start flooding the Atlanta Zoo in Grant Park for a good old drinking fest. Walk in, get your “tasting” mug, and get to sipping.

Terrapin, Sweetwater, and Red Brick are all sponsoring so the quality of the beer is already setting the tone for what is to be a rocking good time (there’s also wine for all you limp-wrists out there).  I don’t know about you, but drinking some 420 while watching Ring-tailed Lemurs frollick in the treetops sounds like history in the making.

The epicness of this event does not stop there, live music will be playing all day long for your listening pleasure. I don’t know who The Brotherland, Kyshona, Stokeswood, or Bailey Player are, but they are playing and it’s been rumored that they are all on the verge of being the best bands in the world.

Although those aforementioned bands haven’t had the pleasure of me listening to their music, I have had the distinct pleasure of seeing Y-O-U and Yacht Rock on multiple occasions. Let me tell you right now, be prepared to get fucked up side the head with awesomeness. Yacht Rock jams out serious AM Gold circa 1973, and they do it right. They oh so smoothly caress your eardrums with sweet music by the likes of Steely Dan, Michael McDonald, Hall and Oates, Captain and Tenille, Toto, and many other yachty musicians. If you haven’t seen Yacht Rock yet and aren’t planning on going to see them tomorrow, then you’re probably a tranny.

Yacht Rock Revue

Yacht Rock Revue

Y-O-U, the brains behind Yacht Rock Revue, are also rocking your face off courtesy of Brew at the Zoo. My good friend and lead singer, Nicholas Niespodziani and his two cohorts, Peter Olson and Mark Cobb, will be playing their original music for all of you animals to enjoy. Y-O-U is an extremely talented group of guys and I have no doubt that everyone will love what they bring to the table. If you are broke, out of town or poor and can’t make it tomorrow, Yacht Rock commits murder every Thursday night at 10 High in the Highlands and the first friday of every month at Andrews Upstairs. Y-O-U will be also be playing at The Earl on the 27th of this month if you’re  interested in some good musica. Here’s a video done by Y-O-U and the beautiful Gina Niespodziani that will give you a taste of their original sound and creative genius (your fuckin right it’s all done with Lite Brite and a camera).

Brew at the Zoo is destined to be a great time for all parties involved, even the animals. Oh, and Buckhead fuckers, this may be your chance to get outside your bumble and have a blast. Just kidding. I love you. But seriously, I’ll see you at Zoo Atlanta for a drunken festy of a good time. If you need me, I’ll be the guys swinging from the trees with a sailors cap on. Ow ow.

 

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