Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Yachtiness

Posts tagged “carazy

4220 Motha F*cka

This is the only YouTube video I know of where you can sit at your desk and look like you’re doing “work”, but actually be listening to the best 911 call in recent history.

I don’t know about you guys, but I love it when old people cuss. I respect this old guy. When I’m old, grumpy, and hopefully drunk, I want to talk shit to people exactly the way this man does. Yes, he may be shwasted face, but he is also efficient. Instead of wasting his time calling a bunch of random numbers, he went straight for the nuts and called 911. Not only do they have to answer, but they can’t even talk shit back. Genius.

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Random Awesomenicity

I'll fiiiiind youuu

I'll fiiiiind youuu

Beeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnns! We all missed you and hope you didn’t subsequently die of an overdose after this picture was taken. I’m pretty surprised to see Beans with a female. I was under the impression that this guy mated with grizzly bears but apparently he dabbles with retarded girls, too. Look at her face, there is no way she doesn’t have a lisp and speak with a deaf persons voice.

I’m not even sure what to say about the red shit.

Howdy

Howdy

This picture is awesome. If I could have this pic blown up to at least 24″x36”, it would be hanging on the wall in my place. How can you not love a pregnant redneck woman holding a watermelon and a glock. Crazy white girl isn’t even smiling, which means she’s serious, which is scary.  

“Dadgummit, I knew we were supposed to get our glamour shots taken today for our Daughters of the American Revolution scrap book, but I lef all ma props at the house.  All I had in ma truck was a big ‘ol watermelon and this here pistol.”

Rape

Rape

Everyone say hello to Pizza the Clown. This picture straight up gives me a bad feeling. It’s like a creepy version of a picture that you’d see on the wall at Chili’s. Who the fuck becomes a clown anyways? It’s definitely the creepiest of all professions. You dress up like a fag, you name yourself something ridiculously stupid, and your job is to be with kids all day. Sketchy. I don’t know about you guys, but  I’ve always hated clowns with a passion. Talentless hobos, all they have to do is sit there and look stupid. My dog can do that. I would feel a lot safer if a dog were around my kids instead of this fucking douche with a testicle as a nose.

If you watch this clip from “Hot Rod” and don’t laugh, then you probably are about as much fun as a quadriplegic at a dance party.