Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Yachtiness

Posts tagged “clowns

Random Awesomenicity

I'll fiiiiind youuu

I'll fiiiiind youuu

Beeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnns! We all missed you and hope you didn’t subsequently die of an overdose after this picture was taken. I’m pretty surprised to see Beans with a female. I was under the impression that this guy mated with grizzly bears but apparently he dabbles with retarded girls, too. Look at her face, there is no way she doesn’t have a lisp and speak with a deaf persons voice.

I’m not even sure what to say about the red shit.

Howdy

Howdy

This picture is awesome. If I could have this pic blown up to at least 24″x36”, it would be hanging on the wall in my place. How can you not love a pregnant redneck woman holding a watermelon and a glock. Crazy white girl isn’t even smiling, which means she’s serious, which is scary.  

“Dadgummit, I knew we were supposed to get our glamour shots taken today for our Daughters of the American Revolution scrap book, but I lef all ma props at the house.  All I had in ma truck was a big ‘ol watermelon and this here pistol.”

Rape

Rape

Everyone say hello to Pizza the Clown. This picture straight up gives me a bad feeling. It’s like a creepy version of a picture that you’d see on the wall at Chili’s. Who the fuck becomes a clown anyways? It’s definitely the creepiest of all professions. You dress up like a fag, you name yourself something ridiculously stupid, and your job is to be with kids all day. Sketchy. I don’t know about you guys, but  I’ve always hated clowns with a passion. Talentless hobos, all they have to do is sit there and look stupid. My dog can do that. I would feel a lot safer if a dog were around my kids instead of this fucking douche with a testicle as a nose.

If you watch this clip from “Hot Rod” and don’t laugh, then you probably are about as much fun as a quadriplegic at a dance party.

Advertisements

David Cop-a-feel

David_Copperfield

So, apparently he can’t really make magic happen. As if we already didn’t think magicians were creepy enough, David Copperfield had to go and rape a chick. Congrats, you’re the richest man ever to not be able to get laid.

David Copperfield met a girl while doing a show in Washington state, and invited the poor girl to his private $50 million dollar island to a promotional event that could lead to “modeling opportunities”. I have to say, most girls I know would’ve noticed the transparent desperation in such an invitation from a 52 year old man, but they all can’t be geniuses can they?  She accepted the invitation and much to her surprise, she arrived on the island to find that it was only Copperfield there?!?

Come on, man. You’re a fucking magician. At least have some fire breathers in the front yard or some elephants walking around to distract the girl from the obvious. Maybe just hire some locals to hang out in the lawn and act like you have friends? I don’t know, but I do know that if I asked some chick to come to a promotional event, and she showed up to an empty island, the alarm bells would probably start ringing.  Apparently, she tried to call her boyfriend once she realized what the business was, and the magician pulled a Ben Stiller from “Happy Gilmore” and told her that if she called anyone, that he would murder her.  David even went as far as making her go under water naked in the ocean and when she surfaced, he told her that’s where she would stay if she told anyone??? WTF is wrong with you, Magic Man. Not legit. I do question the decision making ability of a girl that goes to magic shows at the age of 22, but that’s besides the point.

The point is that David Copperfield had to threaten this young girls life and assault her in order for her to have sex with him. Honestly? How weak is your game Coppafeel? You own a private island. You’re the most famous magician since Harry Houdini. You’re a good looking guy for your age. Your ex-wife is Claudia Schiffer. You can make people fucking disappear,  but you can’t find a girl that will have consensual sex with you?!? That sauce is most certainly weak you creepy fuck. 

Good luck making this one disappear, David. I wonder how long it will take you to break out of the shackles and chains that you’re about to be in? My guess is about 5-10 years.