Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Yachtiness

Posts tagged “douche

Photobooth Failures

I always love going to parties, raves, concerts, and puppet shows where there are photo booths to get ridiculous in. Nothing like capturing the moment, eh? You know what else I love? Looking at random photo albums on Facebook from parties that I never attended or heard of. Some call it creepy, some call it inquisitive, I call it hilarious. All the following people came to party, but ended up getting ripped on by some random kids blog.

Rarr

Rarr

This guy is stuck at the nexus of Mortal Kombat and ecstasy. Not only does he look like a raging douche, but he also epitomizes how skewed one’s percepion of “cool” is while on drugas. This rookie rolled to the party solo. That is a Men’s Warehouse guarantee. 

Indigo Girls

Indigo Girls

This pack of lesbos keeps it real.  The girl in the middle is essentially an all-star. She came to party and she didn’t over do it with rookie antics like glowsticks or some hardass face like her linebacker friend to the left. She painted herself to look like a robot, then, she wrote “Fucking Machine” on her shirt. Point taken.  Rage.

My gosh I’m scared of the girl on the left.

Godric

Godric

This fangbanger just got done reading the last of Twilight series and saw some humans to prowl on. When he’s not working at Hot Topic, he enjoys being the person everyone looks at during a party and wonders what the hell they’re doing there without a cape and a fake sword. This guy definitely dabbles in Dagorhir.

College!

College!

Look at this crew, they just rolled up to the party in a lifted Dodge Ram.  These guys are killing it. Homie up front did drugs for the first time and decided it was worthy enough to break out his little hippie brothers tie dye shirt. Redneck Jim in the back left broke even out his hemp necklace. These guys drove all the way from Dawsonville to rage. Props to Sigma Wexicon.

Ayyyyyy

Ayyyyyy

Say hello to the drug dealer at the party. Tip to the custies,  the bookbags these guys carry at concerts aren’t filled with overnight clothes and a toothbrush. If they are wearing a grill and a chain, you can put your life savings on the fact that this guy has a bag full of felonies. Props on the grill, that thing probably gets you laid on the reg.

Awkward

Awkward

Nice flair, dog. Besides working at Flingers, this guy listens to electronica while not shaving. Apparently, he’s so emo that it’s not even gay when he hooks up with dudes.

Until next time, have a weekend worth writing about and avoid being a douche on camera.

Advertisements

Twitterbag of the Week

Twitter is an amazing tool that has taken over the world of social networking. While it can be a legit tool used to keep in touch with friends and update people on the latest happenings, there are alway the shameless self-promoters who use it strictly to jack off to themselves and try and become famous (if they aren’t already). I never cease to be amazed at the DOUCHEBAGGERY of some people on this site. So, as party of my newy created blog, every week I will single out a new Twitterbag and cite some of their “tweets”, and subsequently rip on them.

Ladies and Gents, this should be fun, let the ripping begin.

TWITTERBAG 6/8/2009

Twitter.com/FRANKIEDELGADO

I’m going to start off by asking you fuckers how the fuck this fucker got 50K followers. I know at least 4 of my pubic hairs that are cooler than this dude.

I’ll admit, I have watched The Hills, thus, I have the utmost credibility in ripping on this guido fuck. If you have heard him speak on The Hills, then you might feel bad for him because he talks like he’s mentally retarded, but don’t let him fool you, he’s a club promoter! I think he majored in club promotion at Harvard or Stanford, I’m not sure which one though. Wait nevermind, he’s just a douchebag that happens to hang out with other retards, and those autistic fucks happen to have a tv show. Please look at that grin, if that doesn’t scream “I suck cock”, I don’t know what does.

Lets translate a few of his tweets:
“I’m gonna go cut my hair ! New style ! 4 days til my bday !”
What he really means:
“I’m going to go to my stylist, Perez Hilton recommended him to me, and he is going to try to squegee out the narsty Guido goop from my head so I can have a chance at picking up my famous friends sloppy seconds at my own birthday party.”

Another tweet:
“Omg just felt the narliest earthquake at the movie theater at the grove.”
What he really means:
“Omg these vibrating seats with built in dildos at the new gay porn theater in Boys Town rule!”