Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Yachtiness

Posts tagged “drugs

Dressing Gay and Gettin Laid

An ode to being able to dress as ridiculous as one wants, and still being able to pull girls. It’s almost as good as my upcoming debut rap song called “She’s Like Chick-fil-A on Sunday”. Don’t get any ideas haters, the song already features Justin Beiber, Miley Cyrus, and Lil Wayne so don’t try to cramp my cool with a knockoff– it won’t touch it.

People from Athens are eskimo brothers with kids from Boulder, Colorado. Both love to get down, are smarter than the average bear, are heady as shit, and spend their parents money like a trust fund baby on a coke binge.

You’re welcome for this video. Apparently, these kids slang ecstasy up in Boulder and make hilarious music videos with the proceeds of their “hobby”. Hence, their group name “The Connects”.

Based off of the fly Alife gear sprinkled throughout the video, the dance scene on the roof in front of the Fox Theatre (Boulder’s staple theatre similar to the Ga Theatre), the use of the word “boujie” followed by knock-off Coogi, and the sheer number of good looking girls in this school project video, I think it’s safe to say these guys get it.

“No f*cking clue how I’m getting these honey’s, looking like a f*cking zoo in my zebra onezie.” Genius.

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Random Awesomenicity

I'll fiiiiind youuu

I'll fiiiiind youuu

Beeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnns! We all missed you and hope you didn’t subsequently die of an overdose after this picture was taken. I’m pretty surprised to see Beans with a female. I was under the impression that this guy mated with grizzly bears but apparently he dabbles with retarded girls, too. Look at her face, there is no way she doesn’t have a lisp and speak with a deaf persons voice.

I’m not even sure what to say about the red shit.

Howdy

Howdy

This picture is awesome. If I could have this pic blown up to at least 24″x36”, it would be hanging on the wall in my place. How can you not love a pregnant redneck woman holding a watermelon and a glock. Crazy white girl isn’t even smiling, which means she’s serious, which is scary.  

“Dadgummit, I knew we were supposed to get our glamour shots taken today for our Daughters of the American Revolution scrap book, but I lef all ma props at the house.  All I had in ma truck was a big ‘ol watermelon and this here pistol.”

Rape

Rape

Everyone say hello to Pizza the Clown. This picture straight up gives me a bad feeling. It’s like a creepy version of a picture that you’d see on the wall at Chili’s. Who the fuck becomes a clown anyways? It’s definitely the creepiest of all professions. You dress up like a fag, you name yourself something ridiculously stupid, and your job is to be with kids all day. Sketchy. I don’t know about you guys, but  I’ve always hated clowns with a passion. Talentless hobos, all they have to do is sit there and look stupid. My dog can do that. I would feel a lot safer if a dog were around my kids instead of this fucking douche with a testicle as a nose.

If you watch this clip from “Hot Rod” and don’t laugh, then you probably are about as much fun as a quadriplegic at a dance party.