Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Yachtiness

Posts tagged “gollum

“You’ve seen Lord of the Rings, We Live It”

Dagorhir.com

Dagorhir.com

I think I found my new group of people to prank call and harass. Check out my homies at Dagorhir.com.  

Have you seen Role Models? If so, you would probably remember McLovin from Super Bad being a creepy tool that rocked a cape, a foam sword, armor, and lived in a fantasy world with other rejects. These fucking losers have battles where there are actual rules, regulations, and fantasy hierarchies.  Well my friends, these creepsters actually exist and they have chapters across the nation. What the fuck.

I know some people out there love them some Lord of the Rings, but I wasn’t aware that people that drive KIA’s and smoke Doral’s actually live double lives as Frodo Baggins. I mean do they keep it a secret from their coworkers at Burger King? Do they recruit? I mean these fuckers have girlfriends in their fantasy worlds. AKA They have sex as Samwise Gamjee, getting off to the thought of boning some elf. Yeah, I just went there, but it needs to be brought to peoples attention. These dwarf fuckers houses should be put on a map, just like sexual offenders.

"Thad shows his prowess in a ready stance"... and the grease playing World of Warcraft for a week straight with no shower

"Thad shows his prowess in a ready stance"... and the grease in his hair from playing video games for a week straight with no shower... nice gloves bro

For all you nerds out there that got blackballed by Lambda Lambda Lambda, the clan of ye Atlanta realm, The High Spires, are looking for warriors in the Atlanta area. I hear they are a mighty strong chapter with many a brave lad. They have an online forum, with 3 total brave soldiers in the entire message board.  They also smoke pole. I know some people get lonely or sometimes get caught up in things that they shouldn’t, but  I would probably rather become a meth head than hang out with these hobbits.

I knew a kid at UGA whose name was Kelvin. Kelvin carried around the Lord of the Rings (hardback version), had long bleach blonde hair, wore a leather headband, and majored in Native American Religion. He told me that his favorite thing to do was to climb up into a tree, read a book, and enjoy nature after eating a bunch of mushrooms. As normal as that sounds, I think ‘ol Kelvin could certainly be a Dagorhir suspect.

Ragnarok 2009-- Yes there are actuall that many people

Ragnarok 2009-- Yes there are actually that many losers in one place

The Atlanta Chapter of Dagorhir, excuse me The High Spires, have practice at 1pm every Sunday at Blackburn Park. If you have any questions pertaining to practice or Dagorhir, you can email Athron@dagorhir.com. Athron, hmmm, I would be pissed. That name was apparently given to him by his father, the Prince of Rohan.

Anyways, if anybodys down to go bully some losers at Blackburn Park on a Sunday after Church, hit me up.

For further entertainment,  go HERE, and check out the Aethenu chapter and all their pictures and rules… pretty fucking awesome…