Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Yachtiness

Posts tagged “Hype Beast

Why-tops?

What the fuck is the deal with shoes that just keep on getting higher? Don’t get me wrong, I love me some tasteful high tops but these kicks are just doo doo.

supra-skytop-2-closer-look-1

In Supra’s never ending quest of making shoes that look like snowboarding boots, they managed to take one more step towards that goal with their upcoming Supra Skytop 2 release. Not only that, but they pulled a wankster move and threw on a boujie attempt at a Jordan 6 tongue that probably hits your knee caps. I’ve never been that down with Supra because they’re not my steez, but I have always respected their original style and somewhat simplistic look. These aren’t simple. They look like the nutty professor took the top of one shoe, the bottom of another, and sewed them together as a freak experiment. For the loss Supra, I am yet to cop a pair of your shoes, and I think that streak shall continue.

24-kilates-reebok-pump-20-02

These guys look like the shoes that Patrick Ewing and Kevin Duckworth HAD to wear  at the end of their NBA careers because they were so tall and clumsy they needed space-age ankle support so their old ass legs didn’t snap. What the fuck are you supposed to wear these with? A Bigfoot costume?

air-jordan-flight-45-hi-01Hahaha these shoes look they were the original Jordan III’s customized for Carmen Diaz’s retard brother in “Something About Mary”. Brand Jordan, you should be ashamed of yourself. It looks like every feature from Jordan I thru XX held a gun to your head and told you that you had to include them on this release.

I want to strap these on my feet and go finger paint.

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Fashion Shmashion Vol. Deux

As the holiday season approaches, the weather getting colder serves as a reminder to gear up on the freshy fresh that will last you from November to March. I always like winter time because it gives one the chance to get kitted out from head to toe. Don’t get me wrong– I love the summer-time steez of rocking tee’s or sportshirts with shorts and matching sneaks, but winter is the time to take that shit to the next level, ése. Tweed, houndstooth, suede, cashmere, wool, and neutrals combined with nontraditional colors is the Looker T. Washington this winter. Jackets, vests, sweaters, hoodies with bomb tee’s or dress shirts from the waist up, cords or jeans with shoes to match the shirt from the waist down, and some sort of head covering mechanism to finish the fuckin drill. What I’m going to do next is drop some knowledge on you suckas about shoes that are being released this month. Take a seat by the fire and let Le Don show you how to keep those Christmas socks covered in something fresh.

Asics GT-II Tweed Pack

BAM, just like that you got some heaterbockles that everyone can appreciate. Asics are underrated in my awesome opinion and these are super serial and a quality addition to any closet. These Asics GT-II Tweed Packs have the old-school Fratty McFratterson appeal, while keeping the colorway variance dope enough to catch someones eye, without being too much. These kicks are as versatile as you want them to be. Dress them up with a button-down and cord blazer, or dress them down with a hoodie and a Bill Crispy tee. Either way, these are heaters have just enough “umph” to put some bourbon in your nog.

Vans Winter Chukka

Fuck your Dad’s boat shoes and your frat bros Wallabee’s. Get emo on some folk and drop the Vans Chukka on that ass to let them know you’re not a number. These neutrals will kill in any setting. I’d even consider taking these on the feet to church on Christmas Eve with a heady holiday sweater and a mustache. Get on these steezers and remix your traditional footwear with something new. Classic appeal FTMFW.

Nike Dunk SB Low "Un-Hemp"

Cop these bad boys if you like a hot sauce on your collard greens. Nike SB is cracking down on the wackness that had been plaguing most of their 2009 droppings and finishing off the year right with their November and December releases. These Nike SB Dunk Low “UnHemps” look like a sex baby between the Dunk SB  “Hunters” and the Dunk SB “Hemps”. The mellow tone of the hemp combined with the “don’t-shoot-me-i’m-hunting” orange make one rad shoe for the sneaker enthusiast. Definitely not as versatile as the others on this list, but are an absolute smash if you want to turn some heads. I don’t know about you, but I always walk a little easier knowing that I have industrial grade marijuana on my feet.

Del Toro Shoes

Come correct to your next black tie event or holiday party with a classy pair of evening slippers to go along with your cocaine and caviar. A great friend of mine in Miami, Florida started this company, Del Toro Shoes, with Stubbs & Wooton in mind, but offers his high quality shoes at about 1/4th of the price. Easy to dress down to casual with jeans and a blazer, these slippers are more versatile than one might think. Offering dozens of emroidered designs and customizable options, you can add your own touch to any pair of Del Toro’s. Raise your pinky when you drink that Champagne and get yachty this New Year’s Eve with this timeless style that is rarely seen in the South.

Spaulding, take your foot off the boat.


Photobooth Failures

I always love going to parties, raves, concerts, and puppet shows where there are photo booths to get ridiculous in. Nothing like capturing the moment, eh? You know what else I love? Looking at random photo albums on Facebook from parties that I never attended or heard of. Some call it creepy, some call it inquisitive, I call it hilarious. All the following people came to party, but ended up getting ripped on by some random kids blog.

Rarr

Rarr

This guy is stuck at the nexus of Mortal Kombat and ecstasy. Not only does he look like a raging douche, but he also epitomizes how skewed one’s percepion of “cool” is while on drugas. This rookie rolled to the party solo. That is a Men’s Warehouse guarantee. 

Indigo Girls

Indigo Girls

This pack of lesbos keeps it real.  The girl in the middle is essentially an all-star. She came to party and she didn’t over do it with rookie antics like glowsticks or some hardass face like her linebacker friend to the left. She painted herself to look like a robot, then, she wrote “Fucking Machine” on her shirt. Point taken.  Rage.

My gosh I’m scared of the girl on the left.

Godric

Godric

This fangbanger just got done reading the last of Twilight series and saw some humans to prowl on. When he’s not working at Hot Topic, he enjoys being the person everyone looks at during a party and wonders what the hell they’re doing there without a cape and a fake sword. This guy definitely dabbles in Dagorhir.

College!

College!

Look at this crew, they just rolled up to the party in a lifted Dodge Ram.  These guys are killing it. Homie up front did drugs for the first time and decided it was worthy enough to break out his little hippie brothers tie dye shirt. Redneck Jim in the back left broke even out his hemp necklace. These guys drove all the way from Dawsonville to rage. Props to Sigma Wexicon.

Ayyyyyy

Ayyyyyy

Say hello to the drug dealer at the party. Tip to the custies,  the bookbags these guys carry at concerts aren’t filled with overnight clothes and a toothbrush. If they are wearing a grill and a chain, you can put your life savings on the fact that this guy has a bag full of felonies. Props on the grill, that thing probably gets you laid on the reg.

Awkward

Awkward

Nice flair, dog. Besides working at Flingers, this guy listens to electronica while not shaving. Apparently, he’s so emo that it’s not even gay when he hooks up with dudes.

Until next time, have a weekend worth writing about and avoid being a douche on camera.


Hybrid Done Right: Nike Air Hoop Structure Triax 91

Freshy fresh

Freshy fresh

Call me crazy, but I’d say that these are the best hybrids that Nike has done in a really long time. The original Nike Air Structure Triax that dropped in 1991 made some noise when they were re-released last year, but I have a feeling the new basketball version is going to be a serious must-cop for sneakerheads all over. Keeping with the theme of recycling designs, Nike must have put their best and brightest on this new shoe.  The translucent gum rubber sole, air bubble, and high ankle support immediately draw comparisons to the classic Jordan VI’s. The shoes overall shape and accents are reminiscent of the old school J’s (IMO), but still reflect multiple elements of the original running shoe. 

 The bad news about these kicks is that Nike is dropping them during the wrong season. These are set to release around the holidays later this year and just really don’t look like a winter shoe to me. Can you picture these, loosely laced with a complimenting tee and some shorts? Whoo-whee these scream summa time. Granted, they are dope nonetheless, but like my homie Deolu was saying, “I can either go down to MIA in the winter to rock ’em, or I’d have to keep them on ice until summer rolled around.” Real talk. 

 For all of you impatient fuckers, go cop the running shoes for the summer. You can get them in multiple different colorways and they are easy to find for less than a bill. Until Nike starts dropping some new designs that are actually dope, we’ll have to feast on the leftovers.

Nike Air Structure Triax 91

Nike Air Structure Triax 91--Retro


Don’t Worry, It’s Not THAT Noticeable

eesh

eesh

Last week, in Kortrijk, Belgium, 18-year old Kimberley Vlaeminck got her face fucked up by a retard with a tattoo machine. The girl went into a tattoo parlor looking to get three dots around her left eye (wtf), and was persuaded by the “artist” that stars would look better. The girl went with the visionary’s awesome advice and decided to go with the stars. Apparently, there was a minor communication error and the man tattooed FIFTY-SIX stars on the side of her face, instead of the three she requested. Seriously? How the fuck do you not notice this? If I asked for a tatt next to my eye, and felt a tattoo needle stabbing me in the lower jaw, I would probably ask to see a mirror.

Apparently, the girl and the artist weren’t the only two short bus riders involved in the story. The father apparently agreed to the facial tattoo to begin with, and offered to pay for it because it was a “family tradition”. I tend to question the parenting skills of a father that is down with a face tatt for his daughter. I don’t know about you guys, but when I came home with my first tear drop tattoo, my Dad beat the shit out of me.

blog17

 The girl was accompanied by her father, sister, and boyfriend, but they stepped out to grab some ice cream while she was getting the tattoo. Obviously, they were gone for bit too long and weren’t there to stop the tattoo artist from inking a tiny universe on the girls face.

The girl is extremely upset and think that she looks ugly. Whaaaaaat? Ugly?! I think it makes you look smart, Kimberly. Super Dad and the family are trying to sue the tattoo shop and get the constellation removed. Haven’t they ever seen “Face-Off”? It’s not an easy operation.

Luckily, the boyfriend is a huge Mike Tyson fan and is apparently thrilled.


Toker Tuesdays: JoJo Simmons Jr.

Maybe I'll just get a little high --Towelie

Maybe I'll just get a little high --Towelie

Are you ever watching tv and just think to yourself, “Man, this person has got to be a stoner”? I’m not talking about a red-eyed, red flag of a stoner that is stuffing their face with Doritos and saying “-izzle” after every word that comes out of their mouth. I’m just talking about looking at someone that doesn’t exude wookieness and knowing they’re a blazer just by their demeanor. Bill Murray, James Franco, Pharell Williams,  Owen Wilson, Drama Beats from “Rob & Big”, and Kate Hudson are just a few celebs that I think look like they get their Bob Marley on when the camera isn’t around.

I was watching the season premier of “Run’s House” last night on MTV. (Yes, I do watch Run’s House and I fucking love it. Rev Run is a great role model and father, and the show is better than most MTV trash, so eat it.) Anyways, during the season premier, Rev’s eldest son JoJo rolls up to the pool at a resort in Hawaii with a shit-eating grin on his face, and a random Hawaaian dude that looked higher than Jack Nicholson in “Free Rider”. His sisters ask the two where they met, and JoJo basically spells it out for everyone by saying “on the beach”. AKA, he was walking around looking for bud and this Hawaaian dude with a ponytail hooked it up with some Sour Deez. Owesome.

Anyways, I was with my homie Eastside Ash and I said to him, “Damn, Jojo has got to be a blazer.” He responded with, “Yurp, homie was arrested for weed last month.” I obviously started googling (it’s officially a verb) and immediately found out that the aspiring rapper was popped in NYC for buying bud and was caught in the process of rolling a j in his BMW on May 9th, 2009. I know this may not come to a surprise to some of you because this happened a month ago, but I figured it was acceptable because the show premiered last night.

Why am I writing a blog about this? Well, I think it’s a damn shame that we all had to find out that JoJo smokes bud just because he was arrested for it. It seems like the only smokers that are open about their antics are in Cali, and that just ain’t right. I’d rather find out that JoJo rips reefer by him passing me a joint at a party in the Hamptons, and not by reading some haters article about him being arrested for buying a friendly little dime bag. If I smoked bud (IF),  I would be upset that a little plant that happens to make you feel a little saucy is illegal. I mean, if tequila is legal, then marijuana should be encouraged because  I’ve done a lot more dumb shit with a bottle of alcohol than with a sack of Mary Jane.

4 scores and 7 pipes ago

4 scores and 7 pipes ago

Every so often I’ll do another story on another stoner, just to exemplify the fact A LOT of people in this country smoke reef, and most of them aren’t all bad. Hell, even honest Abe Lincoln was know to hit the peace pipe. In a journal written in 1855 by the most popular US President of all times, Lincoln states, “”Two of my favorite things are sitting on my front porch smoking a pipe of sweet hemp, and playing my Hohner harmonica.” For the win!


Lakers Win! Let’s Rob a Shoe Store

The Holy Grail near the Staples Center

The Holy Grail-- pre-championship

What is it with the riots? Chill out you crazy fucks. 

After the Los Angeles Lakers became the NBA Champions on Sunday night, a ridiculous riot ensued that completely fucked up the area surrounding the Staples Center. Eleven people were arrested, two cop cars were set ablaze (awesome), and a dope sneaker store was raped by a bunch of hooligans that can’t handle their shit.

The Holy Grail, a consignment boutique of rare and vintage sneakers, was bent over by Lakers fans following  their Championship victory over the Orlando Magic. Not only is this a sticky situation because their store was pillaged, but also because all the inventory at the store was on consignment (they were selling them for other people, and taking a percentage). Thousands of dollars worth of the dopest shoes on the planet are now on the feet of reckless thieves. Not only is this an outrage because of the obvious, but also because these shoes will probably get scuffed.

Yeeeeezzzzyyyyyyyy's!

When the Lakers take win, Imma get dem Yeezys!

There’s one thing I never understood. Why the hell do people riot when something good happens? I just don’t get it. I’m all for a debaucherous night of fuzziness on a celebratory night, but those crazy fuckers in L.A. just took things too far. My idea of a celebration usually ends with a blackout where I wake up in my clothes that I wore the previous night, a pocket full of ridiculous bar tabs, a beer on my bedside table with one sip taken out of it, and the lights still on.

The Holy Grail-- post championship

The Holy Grail-- post-championship

Come on America, let’s keep it classy when we celebrate. Get drunker than Tara Reid,  smoke some cheeb, and get naked with a stranger, but leave the violent riots for South American soccer games.