Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Yachtiness

Posts tagged “ledonfrancois

PTK x Don Cannon x Diamond Supply Co. present Diamond Life

If you haven’t had a chance to listen & download Priceless the Kid’s “DIAMOND LIFE” presented by Don Cannon and Diamond Supply Co., go ahead and shoot over to PTKmusic.com and catch that free heat. This project is almost completely comprised of original music by a star studded cast of producers. Ashanti “The Mad Violinist” Floyd and Symphony Crack, Kane Beatz, A-1, The Space Kids,  and DJ FU & Nicky Cage of The Weathermen all have a hand in this magical mixtape that makes one have faith that good hip-hop music still exists.

Lucky for you wanksters, not only can you download PTK’s new music for free, but he is raging at King Plow this Friday to celebrate being awesome. He will be playing with his full band, The Symphony Crack Orchestra featuring the multitalented Ashanti Floyd, Chris Morgan, Matt Barrett, and guest percussionist Casey Crogan. DJ Kane Beatz (“Kane on the beat, fuck around leave a n*gga dead on the streeeet.” -Weezy) will be on the 1’s and 2’s. This conglomerate of winners have been featured on major records with artists such as Lil Wayne, Rick Ross, John Legend, Young Jeezy, T-Pain, Jamie Foxx, and Sean Kingston just to name a few. Here’s a sample of what you cannot do and this doesn’t even feature the recently de-mohawked Matt Barrett.

To kick things off, Athens own T8R(TOT) will be womping the Gallery with his own style of dubstep, trip hop, and electronica. Following T8R will be a special instrumental performance by Symphony Crack before Priceless pillages the stage. Once everyone has officially been served by PTK & Symphony Crack, Atlanta’s own DJ MEGAN FOXXX will close things out for a late night set of epic proportions. Megan Foxxx is a producer and engineer for T.I.’s world famous label, Grand Hustle Entertainment and is playing a major hand in the “swag movement” that is taking rap by storm. T.I, Young Jeezy, Justin Timberlake,Young Dro, Yung LA, and Lil Wayne are just some of the artists he’s worked with and his remixes have garnered national attention, especially his remix of Roscoe Dash’s “All the Way Turnt Up”. “Megan Foxxx is for the guys who start dance riots… for the girls that decide it isn’t a question of ‘if’ they’re fucking but ‘whom.'” Sound like fun? Indeed.

This Friday is going to be an amazing night at King Plow. To get tickets, please go HERE and cop your advance golden tickets for $7. I promise this evening will be full of  amazing live music, great vibes, and good company sprinkled with a little bit of absurdity. By the way, $3 New Belgium Brews (Fat Tire, etc.) will be flowing all night for your drinking pleasure.

Go download DIAMOND LIFE and come to King Plow this Friday to hear PTK kill it live. Presented by King Plow, Gallery Group Atlanta, New Belgium Brewing, Kane Beatz & Ashanti Floyd’s “The Building”, and the carnivore known as WOLFDOG.

In the words of DJ Megan Foxxx, “Prepare to get f*cked…and no you cannot spend the night.”

Advertisements

5 Funky Ways to Feel Good

It’s amazing how a new song or a fresh artist can make completely turn your day around. Considering the fact that work blows and so does a lot of music, I’ve compiled a short list of songs, artists, music videos, or albums that will hopefully alleviate some of the wompness that shits on your day. Instead of wowing you with my intellect and describing music with ridiculous adjectives that you don’t have time to look up on dictionary.com, I’ve decided to make it easier for the masses to understand how this music makes you feel through elaborate imagery and ridiculous scenario’s where this music is appropriate. Each week, I will update LeDonFrancois.com with another short list of can’t miss music. Some of the artists I have written about, some I have not, some are well-known, and some are on their way– all have that vibe that will put some jelly in your doughnut.

Washed Out

1. ArtistWashed Out–   The subject of much recent buzz locally and nationally, Washed Out is taking feel good music to the next level. Washed Out seemingly transcends reality and engages the listener with hypnotic melodies, intoxicating vocals, and catchy eighties-esque beats that music lovers of any genre will enjoy. Instead of skipping from song to song when listening to an album, I find myself listening to Washed Out’s music all the way through, and many times taking it back to the top when the music stops. Being featured in Rolling Stone, Pitchfork, and the New York Times, Washed Out certainly has not wasted any time gaining the spotlight.

How it makes me feel: Like I’m a fucking baller sitting on a beach in Belize with an 80’s, blonde flat-top while I pay 5 cents per cerveza to the nicest old waiter who tells funny jokes. There’s a beautiful broad that looks like shes from the future sitting next to me and she just keeps on telling me I’m awesome. There are some other people there, I like them, and they’re all groovin. Iguanas and shit. Win.

I don’t know what the f is going on but my myspace links aren’t working so go to http://www.myspace.com/thebabeinthewoods to listen to Washed Out

2. Album: “Manners” by Passion Pit– Soulful and passionate music that makes you want to dance like you are good at it and hug people instead of getting all emo and talking about feelings. Passion Pit is on absolute fire. Taking the United States and Europe by storm with their new album “Manners”, Michael Angelakos and his bandmates have experienced a meteoric rise over the past year. Their sound is like crack and their live performance is one of the best I’ve ever witnessed. If you’re not on the Passion Pit train, jump on it and ride because these guys are going straight to the top. Woop woop. I listen to this album pretty much daily when I get done with a long day of hard work. Windows down. Epic.

How it makes me feel: Like I’m walking down the street at a fast pace with a smile on my face and everyone I pass by is feeling the same way and “Manners” is playing as the background music (aka soundtrack). Everyone I pass I shoot them the guns (Zoolander style) and say “Yeah!” and they shoot them back and say “Alright!” and one of us does a spin move and we both keep on walking towards the next smiling face. Heavy bass in harmony with my footsteps. Euphoric.

Listen at http://www.myspace.com/passionpitjams

ptkblog

3. Song: “Feel Good” by Pricless the Kid– Stealing this track off his upcoming mixtape for Diamond Supply Co. called “Diamond Life”. Price was holding this banger for the tape but like all good music, it leaked so he went ahead and gave it to the public on the free free. “Feel Good” is a smash that PTK did with T-Pains newest artist, Doe Boy, and the ever-so-talented producers Ashanti “The Mad Violinist” Floyd and Chris Morgan. This track is one to get down to. Not only is the beat on point, but they lyrics make you want to live your life like it’s a weekend.

How it makes me feel: Like I’m on a big ol yacht with an ascot, white oxford with my initials on the sleeve, a navy blazer, and an ever-so-necessary captains hat on while I have a bunch of pretty ladies sitting there basking in the sun rolling me up government issues. A good looking Puerto Rican beauty asks me how I take my mojito. I tell her to make it how I like it dadgummit, and she just does it. I feel like I’m the man, and apparently I am, considering the yacht and the amazing women rolling up funky.

Listen to “Feel Good” by Priceless the Kid

4. Song/Music Video: “99Luft Balons” by Nena (German version)- Although I don’t understand one word of this song, it’s one of my all-time favorites. This 80’s video is a prime example of what some big hair, a funky beat, and a little cocaine can do for the music industry. Who needs to know what the lyrics actually mean when the song is this good? This is one of those tracks where if I tried to describe it, you would have no fucking clue what song I’m talking about, but once the beat started bumping you’d say “Oh, yaaaaaaa! I know this jam.” Don’t waste your time downloading the American version. The German version is significantly yachtier and makes you feel cultured at the same time. I love the way Nena is looking at me when the video starts, I don’t know what shes saying but I’m going to go ahead and assume that it’s very sexual and directed towards me. The video is extremely weird but the song is epic and Nena is one bangin Germ. This was our soundtrack to this past weekend in Nashville so you can imagine how stellar my weekend was. Having a song stuck in your head is one thing, and having one stuck in your head that you don’t speak or understand is just a doozie.

How it makes me feel: Like I’m in a discoteca in Prague on my birthday and there are people from all over the world in one big rager den of a club and some bastard dosed be with the best ecstasy in Europe. I’m doing the running man as fast as I can and having an intense competition with myself and look up to find the entire club doing the running man at the same pace as me. All these goofy European fucks have a clueless smile on their face and are looking at me with that blank Idontspeakyourlanguage-smile where they don’t really understand what is going on but they’re doing it just because they think they’re supposed to. Then, out of nowhere, the song slows down dramatically and Kelly Kapowski comes walking towards me through a cloud of smoke singing the words in German. I tell her I love her, she says something in German that I don’t understand, we kiss, and then the beat starts raging and the running man continues.

5. Album: “Crystal Castles” by Crystal Castles- Crystal Castles is an experimental electronic music band from the province of Ontario consisting of producer Ethan Kath and vocalist Alice Glass that redefine the word intense. Although well-known throughout the rest of the country and Europe, Atlanta seems to be runt of the litter when it comes to adapting to and discovering new music. Originally, it was just producer Ethan Kath but after witnessing Alice Glass perform a live show with her punk band, he quickly decided she was the missing ingredient to his music and they started recording together. Kath’s intricate beats are sometimes soothing and sometimes chaotic, but blend well with Glass’s distinct vocals to create a vibe that is rarely found in most electronic music. Just an example of how hard this duo throws down, one of  Crystal Castles shows in Los Angeles this summer was shut down by the riot police because of safety precautions. Sounds like a party to me.

ccblog

How it makes me feel: Like I’m at a hipster rave in an underground music club and all the people’s eyes have gone black (True Blood style) and are in trance of raging unlike anything I’ve ever seen. All the humans there look like robots and all the characters from Mario Kart 64 are at the party. Wario starts a moshpit. Every time people bump into each other the “ching” from Mario on Nintendo sound resonates. Luigi is breakdancing and spinning on his head while Yoshi is bouncing around like crazy and is more jacked up on boog shug than Chevy Chase in Caddyshack. I walk out of the club at 6am and the Batmobile is there waiting to give me a ride home. Digital and bombastic. Trippy.

Listen at http://www.myspace.com/crystalcastles

All of these artists are available on iTunes. Go get yourself some good music.


Old People FTW

“Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose.”

Old people are awesome. They are like children, but old. Plagued with innocence and armed with the reaction speed of a turtle, these senior citizens exemplify why all of society feels sorry for them.

Don’t get me started on the choir leader. That guy is a fucking cartoon character and should be tarred and feathered for this Borat-worthy performance.

If these old people knew the meaning of the words they were singing, they would probably implode.


Photobooth Failures

I always love going to parties, raves, concerts, and puppet shows where there are photo booths to get ridiculous in. Nothing like capturing the moment, eh? You know what else I love? Looking at random photo albums on Facebook from parties that I never attended or heard of. Some call it creepy, some call it inquisitive, I call it hilarious. All the following people came to party, but ended up getting ripped on by some random kids blog.

Rarr

Rarr

This guy is stuck at the nexus of Mortal Kombat and ecstasy. Not only does he look like a raging douche, but he also epitomizes how skewed one’s percepion of “cool” is while on drugas. This rookie rolled to the party solo. That is a Men’s Warehouse guarantee. 

Indigo Girls

Indigo Girls

This pack of lesbos keeps it real.  The girl in the middle is essentially an all-star. She came to party and she didn’t over do it with rookie antics like glowsticks or some hardass face like her linebacker friend to the left. She painted herself to look like a robot, then, she wrote “Fucking Machine” on her shirt. Point taken.  Rage.

My gosh I’m scared of the girl on the left.

Godric

Godric

This fangbanger just got done reading the last of Twilight series and saw some humans to prowl on. When he’s not working at Hot Topic, he enjoys being the person everyone looks at during a party and wonders what the hell they’re doing there without a cape and a fake sword. This guy definitely dabbles in Dagorhir.

College!

College!

Look at this crew, they just rolled up to the party in a lifted Dodge Ram.  These guys are killing it. Homie up front did drugs for the first time and decided it was worthy enough to break out his little hippie brothers tie dye shirt. Redneck Jim in the back left broke even out his hemp necklace. These guys drove all the way from Dawsonville to rage. Props to Sigma Wexicon.

Ayyyyyy

Ayyyyyy

Say hello to the drug dealer at the party. Tip to the custies,  the bookbags these guys carry at concerts aren’t filled with overnight clothes and a toothbrush. If they are wearing a grill and a chain, you can put your life savings on the fact that this guy has a bag full of felonies. Props on the grill, that thing probably gets you laid on the reg.

Awkward

Awkward

Nice flair, dog. Besides working at Flingers, this guy listens to electronica while not shaving. Apparently, he’s so emo that it’s not even gay when he hooks up with dudes.

Until next time, have a weekend worth writing about and avoid being a douche on camera.


Random Awesomenicity

I'll fiiiiind youuu

I'll fiiiiind youuu

Beeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnns! We all missed you and hope you didn’t subsequently die of an overdose after this picture was taken. I’m pretty surprised to see Beans with a female. I was under the impression that this guy mated with grizzly bears but apparently he dabbles with retarded girls, too. Look at her face, there is no way she doesn’t have a lisp and speak with a deaf persons voice.

I’m not even sure what to say about the red shit.

Howdy

Howdy

This picture is awesome. If I could have this pic blown up to at least 24″x36”, it would be hanging on the wall in my place. How can you not love a pregnant redneck woman holding a watermelon and a glock. Crazy white girl isn’t even smiling, which means she’s serious, which is scary.  

“Dadgummit, I knew we were supposed to get our glamour shots taken today for our Daughters of the American Revolution scrap book, but I lef all ma props at the house.  All I had in ma truck was a big ‘ol watermelon and this here pistol.”

Rape

Rape

Everyone say hello to Pizza the Clown. This picture straight up gives me a bad feeling. It’s like a creepy version of a picture that you’d see on the wall at Chili’s. Who the fuck becomes a clown anyways? It’s definitely the creepiest of all professions. You dress up like a fag, you name yourself something ridiculously stupid, and your job is to be with kids all day. Sketchy. I don’t know about you guys, but  I’ve always hated clowns with a passion. Talentless hobos, all they have to do is sit there and look stupid. My dog can do that. I would feel a lot safer if a dog were around my kids instead of this fucking douche with a testicle as a nose.

If you watch this clip from “Hot Rod” and don’t laugh, then you probably are about as much fun as a quadriplegic at a dance party.


How Can You Not Miss the Eighties?

You probably already noticed that I have incredibly blue eyes.

This is straight up awesome. I want to do a play by play and rip on every comment from this video, but then this blog would be longer than my… nevermind. It’s Monday morning and I’m sure that some of you are still hung over from this weekend so just let the video do the talking. This is so much more legit than eHarmony. Enjoy.

“I’m looking for the goddess. Are you the goddess? Who is the godess?” WTF.


Cop Bangs Cows

JINDICT03a

This guy enjoys getting his penis slobbed on by cows. Not just any cows, but little baby ones. Say hello to the rightfully suspended police officer named Robert Melia. Stop thinking about how much this guy looks like the owl from the Tootsie Roll “How many licks?” commercials and start thinking about how far you want to stay away from this creep. In 2006, Melia was charged with animal cruelty for sticking his purple headed yogurt slinger into the mouth of FIVE different cows in Burlington County, New Jersey and the charges were just recently dropped. Apparently, bestiality is still legal in New Jowsey. WTF!?

There is something seriously wrong with our legal system if someone can walk away from something as perverse as this. Also, how the fuck is bestiality not illegal there? I mean honestly, it literally means having sex with animals. How is that possible? I know plenty of people that have gotten drunk and made some bad decisions, but I’m yet to hear a story about someone waking up next to something that isn’t human. To be honest, I would probably bang a mermaid, but that’s about as far as it goes.  Besides, the laws are a little blurry when it comes to supernatural creatures anyways. Seriously though, how do you even get to that point where you decide to start having sexual relations with an animal? I mean, it just seems like a lose-lose situation. 

New Jersey hasn’t gotten around to outlawing bestiality yet, so this guy gets to use the same water fountains and public playgrounds that your darling children get to use. Really? This guy walks around sticking his wanker in live beef and gets to live a normal life while people are going to jail for marijuana. If you did a poll in your local community and asked everyone if they would rather have potheads or cowfuckers in their town, what do you think the outcome would be? My faith in mankind wants to think potheads would win by a landslide.

I know this is a shocker, but this COP is also accused of sexually assaulting three young girls and one little boy. Let me get this straight. This guy molests litte girls, little boys, little cows, and he’s not in jail getting raped by Bubba yet? That’s a crying shame. Can’t wait to see the YouTube video of this guy burning in hell.

Nice gizzard

Nice gizzard

Check out Robert Melia’s girlfriend. If I were him, I would’ve told the judge that I was just confused and thought the cows were my girlfriend.