For all you perves out there that have seen the Mona Lisa and thought to yourself, “Damn, I wish this bitch was naked”, it’s your lucky day. This painting, that resembles a naked Mona Lisa, resurfaced in Italy after being hidden in the walls of some rich fuckers house for almost a century. There are records that suggest that this painting was done by Da Vinci, and it will undergo scientific artistic investigations to determine whether or not Leo painted those hot b-cups (maybe small C’s). Although the woman isn’t identical to the woman in the Mona Lisa, there are enough parallels in the work to draw the conclusion that this is another variation of Da Vinci’s most famous painting. Props Leo, she looks pretty fire and you did a great job of making the twins appear perky and about the same size.
Apparently, Napoleon’s uncle was a perve and he used to own this painting. The work has since changed hands a few times between sophisticated, high society porno fiends before landing in the Museo Ideale in Da Vinci’s hometown in Italy. The musem director is obviously a huge perve himself and was quoted saying “Our quest for naked Mona Lisas continues.” Eesh, keep that one to yourself you skeez. I want to see plenty of chicas naked but I don’t go releasing public statements about it, especially if they’re dead. That’s just creep.
Pee Wee Herman and Michael Jackson were both rumored to be interested in buying the painting, but quickly backed off when they realized that it wasn’t a nude portrait of a little boy.