Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Yachtiness

Posts tagged “nyc

Hipster Shit I Want Vol. I

Yves Saint Laurent Crocodile Skin Chukkas… Ultra-luxury hipster swag. Shwing.

Outside Lands Festival. Phish, Deadmau5, Arcade Fyerrrrr, Black Keys, The Roots, STS9, GT, Big Boi, Muse, MGMT, Toro y Moi, Best Coast, and a bunch of other hipstamatic bands and artists all at Golden Gate Park in San Fran… Aug 12-14… I’ll be there yachting it up and weaving my way into the fibers of the hipster elite.

Original Nate Frizzell piece. I tried to book this guy for an art show in Atlanta but his agent said that his weekends were booked solid in 2010… obvi means he’s all the rage with the skinny-pant-wearing-Pabst-drinking crowd in Brooklyn.

Mishka x Wavves snapback. Mishka NYC, based out of Brooklyn, teamed up with noise pop band, Wavves, out of San Diego to create this incredible headwear. Adorned with a marijuana leaf in one of my favorite colors, this hat is a must have for me. They only made a handful of these for online and retail purchase, the rest were reserved for the merch booth at Wavves shows… how fuckin hipster is that?

This hat is going for like $200 on e-Bay so I tried to get a beautiful female companion to go to the Mishka store and try and flirt her way into getting me one, but then she realized she was in Brooklyn and ran for the first train to Manhattan. Models… can’t live with them, can’t live without them.

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Slow Your Roll

There’s a new drink that has hit the streets, its purple, its supposed to make you lean (not ripped, lean like not standing straight you fools), and its been known to put people to sleep. No I’m not talking about liquid codeine you screw ups, I’m talking about the new beverage called “Drank”, that is the opposite of an energy drink.

I kept hearing of this drink, “Drank”, from my friend Chip and he knows his shit so when I went by his crib yesterday, I stole a “Drank” on my way out. The can looks like one of those giant energy drinks that you only see fat kids and rednecks slurping out of. Inside, the concoction contains melatonin, Valeria root, and rose hips, all supplements to aid in relaxation and sleep. Despite having these weird ingredients , the drink literally tastes exactly like grape soda and if you don’t like grape soda then you probably kill baby seals.

It's MY cup

So, on Sunday night I decided to try “Drank” and how see how I felt. The taste of the drink was almost as good as sex, but not quite. I must say, I did feel very relaxed and ready for a good nights sleep despite having the Sunday night blues after a long weekend. I wouldn’t say that I was on the same level of real liquid codeine and babbling like Lil Wayne, but I definitely felt loose and my eyes got more tired.

Fast Forward to this Morning: After drinking a “Drank”, I woke up on my couch after falling asleep to the Discovery Channel show “Ancient Aliens” (also awesome) and had to relocate my zombie self back into my own bed.

All in all, “Drank” tastes great, makes you relax, want to fall asleep, and is just about as close to liquid codeine as your hand getting slapped away from a bottle when your mom catches you trying to take it from the medicine cabinet. It certainly won’t do the trick if you are sick or have some serious anxiety problems, but for a night cap, “Drank” will do just fine.

In the meantime, grab yourself a can and tell me what you think and whether it works for you. I can’t wait til it catches on. Just imagine a bar full of people ordereing “Drank n Vodkas” all sitting around and drooling on themselves. Ha. Great mental image.


I Can Derelict My Own Balls

No hobo

"Hey, can I keep this shirt? No hobo."

I knew I loved this company when they collabed with Etnies and came out with shoes that read “FUCKING AWESOME” across the heel. Then, when they dropped their fall/winter collection lookbook that featured vagabonds as their models, I just about peed myself. This line really is “Fucking Awesome”.

Whats better than having old ass bums as your models? Absolutely nothing. Not only can you pay them with a 40 oz. or some crack rock, but they make the photographer look like Estevan Oriol. I mean look at these dudes. These guys look like they are coming out of a 14 month blackout and they are making modeling look easy. The first guy has no idea what the hell is going on,  staring at the photographer like “Who the fuck are you and where the hell is my dadgum shopping cart? I got sardines in there.”  

Holdin my d like a pimp

Holdin my d like a pimp

Bahahaha. Come on. Really? This one is the essence of humor. A bitter-beer faced, old black man rocking a shirt that reads “Fucking Awesome”, and staring off to the distance like a supermodel, while itching his crotch like a crack head. It honestly doesn’t get more clever than that. I bet the guys that started this line are cool as shit and got these bums all boozed up and introduced them to a bunch of pretty ladies afterwards. Think about that awkward interaction. I mean that is exactly what I would do if I were them. Can you imagine these guys wandering around the launch party aimlessly, staring off into space and mumbling shit under their breath? I don’t know about you guys, but I think thats a mental image worth making a reality.

Yeah, so what

"Yeah, so what"

“I got this gay shirt on with some alien on it and these crazy ass fags are taking pictures of me.”

This guy is an exemplary bum. He looks like one of the grumpy, pissed off homeless guys that just yells shit at you when you walk by.  He’s even giving the photographer the “What the fuck are you looking at?” face. Completely awesome. They probably had to do some Crocodile Hunter type shit to get this guy into the studio. “Crikey, this guys a fiesty one. Lets use the tranquiliza dawt and shoot him right in the neck and get him to calm down niiiice n easy before we transport this beauty.” I’m pretty sure they risked their lives bringing this guy in.

Etnies X Fucking Awesome

Etnies X Fucking Awesome

Not only do people have the audacity to rock shirts that explicitly display four letter words, but there’s also that same market for footwear. I almost bought these guys, then I remembered that I have parents, and my parents wouldn’t think these are fucking awesome. It’s one thing to say it every other word on your blog that is written by an alias, but it’s a totally different beast walking around with shoes that literally scream “Fucking Awesome”. My Mom would literally wash my mouth out with soap for wearing these, which is kind of rad if you think about it. I can totally see some punk 15 year old hipster kid rolling into his parents house with these bad boys on thinking how cool he was. Then, subsequently crashing back to reality once his mom throws these things away faster than his dime bag of shwag he left in the dirty laundry.

Props, “Fucking Awesome”. You had the balls to release a clothing line that is named after a phrase you dropped after watching Shark Week. I don’t think you’ll be moving your offices to Madison Avenue anytime soon, but I commend you for launching shirts that are so hipster, that even the gnarliest of mustache sporting, skinny jean wearing, pseudo-intellects can’t even wear them.


Hybrid Done Right: Nike Air Hoop Structure Triax 91

Freshy fresh

Freshy fresh

Call me crazy, but I’d say that these are the best hybrids that Nike has done in a really long time. The original Nike Air Structure Triax that dropped in 1991 made some noise when they were re-released last year, but I have a feeling the new basketball version is going to be a serious must-cop for sneakerheads all over. Keeping with the theme of recycling designs, Nike must have put their best and brightest on this new shoe.  The translucent gum rubber sole, air bubble, and high ankle support immediately draw comparisons to the classic Jordan VI’s. The shoes overall shape and accents are reminiscent of the old school J’s (IMO), but still reflect multiple elements of the original running shoe. 

 The bad news about these kicks is that Nike is dropping them during the wrong season. These are set to release around the holidays later this year and just really don’t look like a winter shoe to me. Can you picture these, loosely laced with a complimenting tee and some shorts? Whoo-whee these scream summa time. Granted, they are dope nonetheless, but like my homie Deolu was saying, “I can either go down to MIA in the winter to rock ’em, or I’d have to keep them on ice until summer rolled around.” Real talk. 

 For all of you impatient fuckers, go cop the running shoes for the summer. You can get them in multiple different colorways and they are easy to find for less than a bill. Until Nike starts dropping some new designs that are actually dope, we’ll have to feast on the leftovers.

Nike Air Structure Triax 91

Nike Air Structure Triax 91--Retro


Toker Tuesdays: JoJo Simmons Jr.

Maybe I'll just get a little high --Towelie

Maybe I'll just get a little high --Towelie

Are you ever watching tv and just think to yourself, “Man, this person has got to be a stoner”? I’m not talking about a red-eyed, red flag of a stoner that is stuffing their face with Doritos and saying “-izzle” after every word that comes out of their mouth. I’m just talking about looking at someone that doesn’t exude wookieness and knowing they’re a blazer just by their demeanor. Bill Murray, James Franco, Pharell Williams,  Owen Wilson, Drama Beats from “Rob & Big”, and Kate Hudson are just a few celebs that I think look like they get their Bob Marley on when the camera isn’t around.

I was watching the season premier of “Run’s House” last night on MTV. (Yes, I do watch Run’s House and I fucking love it. Rev Run is a great role model and father, and the show is better than most MTV trash, so eat it.) Anyways, during the season premier, Rev’s eldest son JoJo rolls up to the pool at a resort in Hawaii with a shit-eating grin on his face, and a random Hawaaian dude that looked higher than Jack Nicholson in “Free Rider”. His sisters ask the two where they met, and JoJo basically spells it out for everyone by saying “on the beach”. AKA, he was walking around looking for bud and this Hawaaian dude with a ponytail hooked it up with some Sour Deez. Owesome.

Anyways, I was with my homie Eastside Ash and I said to him, “Damn, Jojo has got to be a blazer.” He responded with, “Yurp, homie was arrested for weed last month.” I obviously started googling (it’s officially a verb) and immediately found out that the aspiring rapper was popped in NYC for buying bud and was caught in the process of rolling a j in his BMW on May 9th, 2009. I know this may not come to a surprise to some of you because this happened a month ago, but I figured it was acceptable because the show premiered last night.

Why am I writing a blog about this? Well, I think it’s a damn shame that we all had to find out that JoJo smokes bud just because he was arrested for it. It seems like the only smokers that are open about their antics are in Cali, and that just ain’t right. I’d rather find out that JoJo rips reefer by him passing me a joint at a party in the Hamptons, and not by reading some haters article about him being arrested for buying a friendly little dime bag. If I smoked bud (IF),  I would be upset that a little plant that happens to make you feel a little saucy is illegal. I mean, if tequila is legal, then marijuana should be encouraged because  I’ve done a lot more dumb shit with a bottle of alcohol than with a sack of Mary Jane.

4 scores and 7 pipes ago

4 scores and 7 pipes ago

Every so often I’ll do another story on another stoner, just to exemplify the fact A LOT of people in this country smoke reef, and most of them aren’t all bad. Hell, even honest Abe Lincoln was know to hit the peace pipe. In a journal written in 1855 by the most popular US President of all times, Lincoln states, “”Two of my favorite things are sitting on my front porch smoking a pipe of sweet hemp, and playing my Hohner harmonica.” For the win!