Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Yachtiness

Posts tagged “osu

Maurice Clarett Making a Comeback… from Prison

Comeback time!

Sweet tatts, dog.

Maurice Clarett is asking for an early release from prison to pursue a career in the NFL. Maurice says that the earlier that he gets out, than the earlier he can start training for the League. He claims that NFL teams have been contacting him for his services whiles he’s been in prison. Three words are immdiately coming to mind… Yeah fuckin right!

Isn’t this the same dude who was robbing people for cell phones like a year ago? Didn’t he get caught with a bunch of guns and a bullet proof vest on like right after that? Not exactly what NFL teams are looking for these days, especially after the Mike Vick and Pacman Jones escapades.

Wait a tick, didn’t you make a “comeback” already and run a 4.8 40 yard dash at the combine? I think that NFL ship has sailed, Maurice. You might have a better shot of getting out of prison if you were a little more realistic.  Tell everyone that you want to get out so you can start training to become a bagboy at Piggly Wiggly. I think people might actually pity you and be more lenient if you played the pathetic loser card. But then again, who wants their groceries bagged by Maurice Clarrett?