Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Yachtiness

Posts tagged “pills

Slow Your Roll

There’s a new drink that has hit the streets, its purple, its supposed to make you lean (not ripped, lean like not standing straight you fools), and its been known to put people to sleep. No I’m not talking about liquid codeine you screw ups, I’m talking about the new beverage called “Drank”, that is the opposite of an energy drink.

I kept hearing of this drink, “Drank”, from my friend Chip and he knows his shit so when I went by his crib yesterday, I stole a “Drank” on my way out. The can looks like one of those giant energy drinks that you only see fat kids and rednecks slurping out of. Inside, the concoction contains melatonin, Valeria root, and rose hips, all supplements to aid in relaxation and sleep. Despite having these weird ingredients , the drink literally tastes exactly like grape soda and if you don’t like grape soda then you probably kill baby seals.

It's MY cup

So, on Sunday night I decided to try “Drank” and how see how I felt. The taste of the drink was almost as good as sex, but not quite. I must say, I did feel very relaxed and ready for a good nights sleep despite having the Sunday night blues after a long weekend. I wouldn’t say that I was on the same level of real liquid codeine and babbling like Lil Wayne, but I definitely felt loose and my eyes got more tired.

Fast Forward to this Morning: After drinking a “Drank”, I woke up on my couch after falling asleep to the Discovery Channel show “Ancient Aliens” (also awesome) and had to relocate my zombie self back into my own bed.

All in all, “Drank” tastes great, makes you relax, want to fall asleep, and is just about as close to liquid codeine as your hand getting slapped away from a bottle when your mom catches you trying to take it from the medicine cabinet. It certainly won’t do the trick if you are sick or have some serious anxiety problems, but for a night cap, “Drank” will do just fine.

In the meantime, grab yourself a can and tell me what you think and whether it works for you. I can’t wait til it catches on. Just imagine a bar full of people ordereing “Drank n Vodkas” all sitting around and drooling on themselves. Ha. Great mental image.

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