What the fuck is the deal with shoes that just keep on getting higher? Don’t get me wrong, I love me some tasteful high tops but these kicks are just doo doo.
In Supra’s never ending quest of making shoes that look like snowboarding boots, they managed to take one more step towards that goal with their upcoming Supra Skytop 2 release. Not only that, but they pulled a wankster move and threw on a boujie attempt at a Jordan 6 tongue that probably hits your knee caps. I’ve never been that down with Supra because they’re not my steez, but I have always respected their original style and somewhat simplistic look. These aren’t simple. They look like the nutty professor took the top of one shoe, the bottom of another, and sewed them together as a freak experiment. For the loss Supra, I am yet to cop a pair of your shoes, and I think that streak shall continue.
These guys look like the shoes that Patrick Ewing and Kevin Duckworth HAD to wear at the end of their NBA careers because they were so tall and clumsy they needed space-age ankle support so their old ass legs didn’t snap. What the fuck are you supposed to wear these with? A Bigfoot costume?
Hahaha these shoes look they were the original Jordan III’s customized for Carmen Diaz’s retard brother in “Something About Mary”. Brand Jordan, you should be ashamed of yourself. It looks like every feature from Jordan I thru XX held a gun to your head and told you that you had to include them on this release.
I want to strap these on my feet and go finger paint.
New Balance MT580 Gore-TexDear New Balance, what the fuck are these? I know they resemble the 580’s, but they seem to have been butchered by a gay clown on an acid trip. I know that you guys are trying to get away from the traditionl grey suede, fratstar look, but did you really have to go and get Perez Hilton to design your newest colorway? I will always remember what a very successful friend of mine once told me, “Always dance with the one that brought you.” These are not the ones that brought you, New Balance. These are fugly and boujee as shit.
Another question, why the fuck are they Gore-tex? It must be for when Boy George is at the local boys club and Clay Aiken accidently spills his Pomegranate martini on them. That’s the only logical reason I can come up with to make a classic like the 580, and turn it into a rape victim that happens to be waterproof. All the club banging gay clowns are going to be repping these so hard!
Here’s an example of how New Balance got a new colorway of an old model right. Tweaking your bread and butter with a little bit of flavor to reinvent a classic. These are right in your strike zone NewB, and yachty as fuck.
New Balance x Staple Design 575 Pigeon