Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Yachtiness

Archive for August, 2009

Ether Party!

I wasn’t aware that people were still down with doing ether but you can always count on the blue collar, old school grunge hippies to break out the good stuff. Honestly, I don’t what this guy is on but I think everyone needs to steer clear. Anybody seen the show Eastbound and Down? This is quite reminiscent of the dance rendition Kenny Powers put on at the middle school dance. These bong fuckers are literally on their own planet and I love it. A couple observations that you might find enjoyable. Please note:

  • The main guys Ramone’s shirt that was redesigned by Spiderman. That shit is awesome. Tucked in with the black belt and black jeans makes me want to go buy a pack of Doral’s.
  • The guy in the back with the mustache’s striking resemblance to the Monopoly man. All he needs is a monocle. P.S. Sick cycling shoes. I bet you feel like a robot.
  • The fact that both of these creeps are rocking those bandana-ish hats that you can only find at truck stops along the highway. They obviously rode together. Or shared a space ship.
  • The extent of the obliviousness of the peope that are surrounding them. Apparently, not many people noticed the epicurian dance party that was going down. I can guarantee you Don Francois would be right in the middle of this rager.

Props for going to the edge you crazy fuckers, but I think I’ll stand a few steps back and just watch you guys make fools of yourselves.

A quick mental image to get you through the weekend: Imagine these guys 5 hours AFTER this video was taken. I don’t know where they’d be, but I bet it involves an alleyway, alcohol, mescaline, broken glass, and a whole lot of lonesomeness.

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David Cop-a-feel

David_Copperfield

So, apparently he can’t really make magic happen. As if we already didn’t think magicians were creepy enough, David Copperfield had to go and rape a chick. Congrats, you’re the richest man ever to not be able to get laid.

David Copperfield met a girl while doing a show in Washington state, and invited the poor girl to his private $50 million dollar island to a promotional event that could lead to “modeling opportunities”. I have to say, most girls I know would’ve noticed the transparent desperation in such an invitation from a 52 year old man, but they all can’t be geniuses can they?  She accepted the invitation and much to her surprise, she arrived on the island to find that it was only Copperfield there?!?

Come on, man. You’re a fucking magician. At least have some fire breathers in the front yard or some elephants walking around to distract the girl from the obvious. Maybe just hire some locals to hang out in the lawn and act like you have friends? I don’t know, but I do know that if I asked some chick to come to a promotional event, and she showed up to an empty island, the alarm bells would probably start ringing.  Apparently, she tried to call her boyfriend once she realized what the business was, and the magician pulled a Ben Stiller from “Happy Gilmore” and told her that if she called anyone, that he would murder her.  David even went as far as making her go under water naked in the ocean and when she surfaced, he told her that’s where she would stay if she told anyone??? WTF is wrong with you, Magic Man. Not legit. I do question the decision making ability of a girl that goes to magic shows at the age of 22, but that’s besides the point.

The point is that David Copperfield had to threaten this young girls life and assault her in order for her to have sex with him. Honestly? How weak is your game Coppafeel? You own a private island. You’re the most famous magician since Harry Houdini. You’re a good looking guy for your age. Your ex-wife is Claudia Schiffer. You can make people fucking disappear,  but you can’t find a girl that will have consensual sex with you?!? That sauce is most certainly weak you creepy fuck. 

Good luck making this one disappear, David. I wonder how long it will take you to break out of the shackles and chains that you’re about to be in? My guess is about 5-10 years.


Motley Vids That Make Em Say UGHHHH

This is father son bonding at its finest. Got so much hate at first until everyone realized that they are fucking sick with it. I would def kick it with this father son combo. One of the few videos you will ever find on my blog that actually makes you laugh and not feel guilty.

Check out the most intense sport to hit Eastern Europe since genocide. The best part is that you can be poor as fuck and still participate. All you need is a pair of shoes and a nice European healthcare plan for when you fracture both ankles. These spudniks are nuts. If I don’t like one of my kids, this will be the sport he plays.

If you’re really bored, watch this one and be amazed at how talented these losers are. The next concert I’m throwing, Perpertuum Jazzile will be headlining for sure. Looks like a serious rager.